Episode 302: Reimagining New Year’s Resolutions with Human Design
As we step into a new year, many of us feel the pull to set resolutions. But have you ever paused to ask why you want the things you’re resolving to achieve?
In this episode, we’re diving into the hidden drivers behind New Year’s resolutions, how conditioning and societal expectations shape them, and why aligning with your unique Human Design can create more meaningful intentions.
Let’s leave behind the pressure of “shoulds” and embrace a new way of setting goals that feel aligned, achievable, and authentic.
Listen to the Episode:
Mentioned in the Episode:
Connect with Naomi:
Connect on Instagram
“How much of your New Year’s goals are based on conditioning on things that you “think” you “should” want? Are your resolutions more about what society expects of you than what your soul desires? ”
Read the Transcript:
Happy New Year! My friends, welcome to the first episode of The Live FAB Life Podcast this year! I'm your host. Naomi Nakamura.
I did not intend to take a few weeks off from the podcast in December, but once I wrapped up all of my client work and celebrated my birthday, I went in full holiday mode and decided to just enjoy the season and now have any deadlines or schedules so that I could rest and come back refreshed, and here we are!
While I’ve been on break, I’ve decided that I want to start the year a little more organized. Instead of having 167 notes in my Apple Notes app with Post-its everywhere, I want to have everything in one place.
I’ve been dabbling in the Notion app and decided it could be a useful place for consolidating things. However, if you've ever used Notion before, it can be very simple, but it can also be very complicated. And because I want to use it for many things, I thought it would be great to have a template that I could customize.
So, I went down an Etsy rat hole looking at Notion templates, and I bought a few, only to find that while they tracked a lot of things, which is what appealed to me--once I had them in hand and tried to customize them it was too much. I felt that I’d spend more time tracking my life instead of living it. It was too much for my Undefined Head to handle.
I wanted my solution to also have a journal, somewhere that I could freely write my thoughts, especially going into the new year. There are things that I want to focus on and I want a place where I can write when ideas and Splenic hits come to mind.
Now, if you’ve listened to Episode 284 or seen my recent Instagram post with my Smythson journal, this is not the same thing. That journal is where I record three things that were fun and joyful from the day, three things that were kind and three things that I did well or liked about myself.
What I was looking for here is a place to free-write, go deep as the Splenic hits come to me, where I can brain dump and capture ideas.
Instead, what I found in these Notion templates were “journals”, and I'm using air quotes here, “journals”, they were actually planners with forms to fill out.
My friend, planners and journals are not the same thing. A planner is for planning, a journal is more like a diary. However, if you google “diary” you get a lot of results that are also planners.
No, the Notion templates had forms and goal trackers to outline what your SMART goals are and what’s your timeline for achieving them. It’s all very clinical.
And look, I used to set goals like that too, and in certain instances I still do, like the year that I needed to be better about flossing. I downloaded the “Don't Break the Chain” app, which I've mentioned a few times on the show, that helps me develop habits, and I'm happy to report that I’ve since flossed every day for the past 1193 days and counting.
So yes, to a degree, I still set what I call “minor” goals, but what I want to focus on now are things that aren’t measurable, and I want a place to free-write about them as the Splenic hits come.
Over the past few weeks, as I’ve searched for Notion templates, I started noticing, as I’m sure you have too, that all the typical New Year content started trickling out. The ads for fitness apps, the news stories on what the new wellness trends are for the year, what’s Jennifer Aniston's diet?
I know that you've seen those ads too, and it got me thinking about how New Year's goals or resolutions, or whatever you want to call them, are based on conditioning.
They’re things that we think we “should” be doing, things that we “should” want because we’re inundated with these kinds of content – and we’re not willing to go deep, go inward to think about what we truly want more of and why do we want them?
As a health coach, particularly in my early years when I was new to the game, I cannot tell you how much it was drilled into me that the new year is our “busy season.” We're health coaches and everyone wants to be healthy this time of year. Everyone wants what we're offering. So, we can't take time off to enjoy the holidays because come January 1st, we have to be ready, with our marketing in place to launch whatever it is we’re offering in the New Year.
I can’t tell you how much I hated that. And after a couple of years, well, me, being me, I stopped doing that. Because that whole vibe made me not want to offer anything in January.
I am not a trend. The work that I do is not trendy. The work I do is deep work and as Brene Brown says, “How To’s don’t work.” If it were as simple as following a “how to” we’d all be healthy and happy and the billion-dollar health and wellness industry would be bankrupt.
I’m not into trends and honestly, if everyone else is doing something, I don't want to do it. That's just me. In fact, it makes me want to do the opposite.
But back to the question at hand:
Are your resolutions more about what society expects of you than what your soul desires?
How much of your New Year's goals are based on conditioning on things that you “think” you “should” want?
It's no wonder that New Year’s goals fail -- because they're based on who we think we should be or what we think we should want, versus not who we truly are.
This is what conditioning is, and conditioning is what happens to us when we do things, because it’s trendy – everyone is doing Whole30 so I’m gonna do it too; or when we do things because it’s what other people expect of us – society, family, friends, colleagues, cultural expectations.
“This year I want to be more productive. I want to have more money. I want to be healthier. I want to lose weight.”
These are the typical New Years goals we hear about in the ads and content we’re inundated with.
The reality is that these kinds of goals – to be more fit, save more money, be more productive, lose 10 lbs. - are rooted in external validation and fear.
When I first made this realization, I asked myself, “Well then, what do I want?” And I found that I was at a loss for words because I didn’t want what I wanted outside of these things that I’d been conditioned to want. And that’s because I was so disconnected from myself – I didn’t know who I was.
This is where Human Design comes in. It’s a tremendous tool to help me understand who it is that I am and gives me a roadmap of how I can free myself back into alignment, rather than living under external pressures, and from there, to have clarity on what it is that I really want.
My friend Nadia Gabrielle, who's been a frequent guest on this show, recently gifted me the book, “The Desire Map” by Danielle Laporte. It’s not a new book - it's been around for, well over a decade I think, but I’ve actually never got around to reading it, so I was so excited and grateful when she gifted it to me for my birthday.
And it was perfect timing, because my birthday is in early December which is about the time when I start thinking about the new year and what I want for myself.
This book, The Desire Map, asks a simple question: Why do we want what we want?
And so, I asked myself two questions: What do I want more of? And why do I want it?
Instead of smart, measurable, actionable - I forget what the whole acronym stands for - instead of setting these types of “clinical, minor” goals that require a project plan, instead of the goals that society expects of us to set, when we ask, “What do I want more of? And then, why do I want it?" We have soul-driven goals.
When I asked myself, “What do I want more of?” I immediately said without thinking (or rather over thinking--I call it my Splenic hits):
I want more play.
I want more fun.
I want more joy.
I want more love.
I want more freedom.
I want more recognition (hey, I am a Projector after all)
From there, I can decide how I’m going to make these things happen. How am I going to bring more of these things into my life? And this is where I can get a little more specific.
I want more fun and joy, so I'm going to be open and accept more invitations when they're extended to me. I'm going to stop keeping score. I'm going to try new things.
I want more love in my life, so I'm going to volunteer this year. I'm going to tell others what I appreciate about them. I'm going to do a better job of not just remembering birthdays but celebrating them too.
I want more freedom, so I'm going to be more thoughtful with my finances so that I can have more financial freedom. You get the idea.
And yes, maybe some of these things are typically what everyone else wants too, I reverse engineered them into them by asking, “What do I want more of and why do I want this?” which makes them more meaningful, more soul connected.
In Functional Nutrition, the approach my health coaching is based on, we look for root causes and to find root causes, we have to peel back layers to get to the roots. We do that by asking, “Why?”
Why do I want what I want?
It requires honesty and vulnerability which makes it deeply personal. Meaningful. We’re connected to it which makes us more likely to strive after these things.
So, if you haven’t set any New Year intentions, or maybe you want be inspired to revisit them, here are some questions for you to ask yourself as you consider what those intentions may be:
Does what I want light me up? Or will it drain my energy, especially in the pursuit of it?
Who benefits from what I want? Is it me or is it someone else?
Is this something that I want for myself, or is it something that someone else expects of me to want or do?
Does what I want align with my values? Does it align with my Human Design?
How does this look through the Human Design lens?
Manifestors – with your Strategy being initiating, what inspires you when you think about why you want what you want, and how can you initiate it? Not what’s expected, but what YOU really want?
Generators - Why do you want what you want? Make sure to pursue the things that truly bring you joy and deep satisfaction, because when you do what you love, it lights you up and that energy is magnetic. Generators are here to bring joyful energy to the world and that’s how you do it – by doing what you love so what is it that you love? And why do you love it?
Manifesting Generators - When you ask yourself, why do you want what you want? You might have a long list of what you want and that’s okay because you’re multi-passionate people! But as you respond to the things that come your way, remember to let go of the things that you no longer want. That list is allowed to change and hanging on to things that no longer are on the list is what drains your energy.
Projectors - As you go about pursuing the things that you want, make sure that you're doing so in a way that allows flexibility and space for rest and also opportunities where you can share your unique wisdom so that those all-important recognitions come your way. Like I said, I’m a Projector so this is something that I’m definitely being mindful of.
Reflectors. Why do you want what you want? Follow your Authority so that what you pursue is aligned and feels right for you and your environment. Give yourself time to make these decisions.
And no matter what your Type, these self-observation exercises are important so that you can filter out what's the external conditioning versus what's authentic for your intentions - what's authentically you.
Look at your energy centers. What centers are Undefined or Open? These are the areas where you’re vulnerable to conditioning.
Now I always like to keep things practical, so here are some steps that you can take inspiration from as you create your aligned intentions.
Practice self-observation with non-judgment. Reflect on the past year and identify what truly excites you, what fulfills you, and let that be your guide when answering the question, “Why do I want what I want?
Set your intentions but also be flexible. Focus on the feelings of fulfillment you get, rather than the rigid outcomes, like the Notion clinical templates with their smart, measurable goal-tracking forms.
Use your Human Design to monitor your alignment and let your Strategy and Authority guide you. This is one of my pursuits for the year – to more intimately follow my Strategy of “Waiting for Invitations, and my Splenic Authority.
It requires trust and relinquishing control, which admittedly, I’m not very good at, but it’s part of my path for growth -- to relinquish control and trust that following my Strategy and Splenic Authority will lead me to where I am meant to be.
When your resolutions, goals, intentions – whatever you want to call them – are aligned they become sustainable and fulfilling because they're rooted in your authentic self, versus goals that are based upon societal, cultural and familial expectations that aren’t you have no connection to.
When you apply the lens of Human Design, notice what areas are more prone to conditioning (hint: look at your Undefined Centers) and follow your Strategy and Authority – your intuition – to lead you to where you’re meant to be.
Now, I’d love to hear from you. What your reflections are from past years, and what do you want more of this year and why do you want it?
Come over and leave a comment on the show notes for this episode at www.livefablife.com/302 Episode 302 or find me on Instagram at @livefablifewithnaomi. I'd love to hear from you.
So, happy new year my friend; I'm excited for the year to come.
During my birthday week, I had my annual solar return reading. There were a lot of interesting things that at first, I didn't quite know what to think of, but I'm becoming more and more optimistic for things ahead and I hope you are too.
Happy New Year my friend, and I'll see you right back here again next time. Bye for now!
Naomi Nakamura is a Health x Human Design coach who’s creating a healthier society through aligned energy.
She blends a bespoke mix of Functional Nutrition and Human Design to help others shift into alignment to leverage and correctly manage their energy to support their body, mind, and spirit.
She believes that when we embrace our authenticity and lean into our bio-individuality, we naturally live a life of freedom, empowerment, and optimal health.
Naomi resides in the San Francisco Bay Area and can often be found exploring the area with her puppy girl, Coco Pop!
Connect with Naomi on: Instagram
| Pinterest
