Read the Transcript:

Naomi Nakamura: Hey there, and welcome back to the Live FAB Life Podcast. I'm your host, Naomi Nakamura, and we are continuing with this mini-series that we've been intermittently doing, by exploring the different authorities with different guests on this show.

We've done an episode on Emotional Authority. We've done one on Sacral Authority. I was joined by my mentor, Victoria Jane on Splenic Authority. We've had the last episode on Self-Projected Authority with Nadia Gabrielle. And today, I am joined by my colleague, Tanya Reyes, who is a Reflector and is here to share her experience, not only with her Lunar Authority, but also being a Reflector.

For those of you who are familiar with you know that Reflectors are very rare. They are only 1% of the population. As such, having a lunar authority is very rare, so I was so fascinated to hear from Tanya, share her experiences, both in what it was like to learn she was a Reflector, how in hindsight she can see how the influence it had on her childhood and her earlier years, and then how she's come to learn to embrace and integrate it into her daily life.

Tanya is wonderful. Not only is she rare as a Reflector, but she also is a 5 / 2, which is also rare. She's really unique. She brings a different kind of leadership, and I'm really excited for you to get to know her and to hear what she has to say.

With that, let's get to the show.

Hi, Tanya, welcome to the show.

Tanya Reyes: Thank you so much for having me.

Naomi Nakamura: It has been a while. We met through Victoria's program. Victoria's been on the show twice. I've mentioned her certification program that we both went through, to be certified as guides and coaches, but, it's been I think a year. So it's really nice to see you and to catch up with you, and I'm excited for our conversation today.

Tanya Reyes: Me too. And I feel like we didn't really have this kind of intimate one on one connection, you and I, while we went through HDCC. So I'm excited to just chat with you in this kind of format. It's going to be fun.

Naomi Nakamura: Yeah, I think when I was going through the program I was just my eyes were glazed over with all the information, that it was just a lot. But, we have this time now. My audience has probably not met you yet before, this is your first time on this show. Hopefully you'll come back again. But, can you introduce yourself and tell us who you are and what it is that you do?

Tanya Reyes: Yeah. My name is Tanya Reyes. I am a 5 / 2 Reflector, and I live in Kelowna, BC, in Canada. And I just recently launched my own business earlier this year and left the corporate structure. That was all I had really known up until now. And yeah, just finding my own way.

Naomi Nakamura: How did you get into Human Design?

Tanya Reyes: It was a few years ago. I was living abroad. I was living in Stockholm, Sweden at the time, and I was very much on this journey of just finding myself, knowing that there was something out there for me but having no idea what it was. And I was very much in this phase of always having a self-help book on the go and anything wellness or self-development related, I was into it.

And it was on one of the podcasts that I was listening to at the time, the topic of one of the episodes was Human Design. And I had no idea what they were talking about but I was just so intrigued, and felt like they were speaking my language. And I remember pulling up my chart after I listened to this episode and saw that all of the centers were white, and I thought it was a mistake.

I was very confused, it looked wrong, and I just didn't know what to make of it. And then I figured out I was looking at a Reflector chart, and I went back and listened to the episode now knowing my Type. And I just felt like everything that the speaker was saying was speaking directly to my soul, and I was hooked after that. And there's not a ton of information out there about Reflectors, so that really drove me to learn not just about my own type, but about the other types.

And yeah, I just went down the rabbit hole and couldn't stop.

Naomi Nakamura: I don't know about you, I'm the same way where I feel like for a long time been into wellness and into self-development and personal development. And this is the part, I don't know about you, but there was something about that just felt so different.

And I think Victoria is the one that put this into context for me. For a long time I was very much, and I still am very much a believer in the enneagram, and especially in the love languages and the four tendencies and all those things are fantastic, and they really help us with a lot of self-discovery.

But, all those things have questionnaires that we have to answer, and so I don't know about you if you've done those, but me answering those, I'm, "Well, is this true? I'm not sure." That's my undefined G center coming through, but there is the element of conditioning or just lack of some self-awareness there.

I have a lot of friends who, they're not sure if their enneagram type is actually them. And I feel like Human Design is so different, because literally there's three questions that you answer and there's no opportunity for conflict or fact. When were you born? What time were you born and where were you born? That was it. So there's no opportunity there for anything else, but yet the results are so accurate. And with every client that I continue to work with, it just solidifies it to me.

Tanya Reyes: That's what I love about Human Design, is that it's so tailored to each individual and Enneagram. I find it interesting. There are definitely parts of it that resonate with me. I remember having this one job where I had to take the Myers Brigg Personality Test as part of the position that I was in. And that made sense for me, but Human Design is just so much more all-encompassing.

And even astrology, I've had astrology readings and I love the symbolism of it and some of it does make sense for me as well, but Human Design is just so much more specific.

And what I love about it is it's so grounded and practical and gives us tools for how to operate in everyday life. We can have a nostology reading and hear all of these things about ourselves, but then it's, now what, what do I do with this information? And Human Design gives us more of a manual of what to do with all of these things that we discover about ourselves.

Naomi Nakamura: Well said, my friend, your Human Design, well, first of all, I didn't know you were a 5 / 2. I think you are the very first 5 / 2 I've ever met. I've done readings with 5 / 1’s before. 5 / 2 - that's not common.

Tanya Reyes: It's rare. Yeah.

Naomi Nakamura: I was going to say, and you're a Reflector, which is 1% of the population. I do know a couple of other Reflectors. They haven't really delved into what that means yet. So, I've been doing kind of a miniseries here of interviewing different people who have different authorities.

And obviously as a Reflector, you have a Lunar Authority, but the fact that you're a Reflector, because, like you said, there's not that information out there on Reflectors, because there's only 1% of you in this world. I'm really curious and I'm excited to dive in.

First of all, what was your reaction as you started to learn more about being a Reflector and having no defined centers and then learning about the Lunar Authority?

Tanya Reyes: I mean, it was very eye-opening. It definitely made a lot of sense in terms of looking back on my childhood and upbringing and different phases of my life, where I experienced, I don't want to say emotional turmoil, but just deep discomfort and sometimes physical illness that would come out of nowhere. And it was something that I couldn't explain as a kid. And my parents couldn't explain it. And now, knowing what it means to be a Reflector, it has really allowed me to heal some of those aspects of myself that were just unexplained. Learning about our sensitivity, how open we are, how we're barometers for the health and well-being of our environment and the people in it. It made so much sense because I could trace back these periods of illness to my parents' divorce, for example, or traveling to a new country and staying with people that I didn't really know where I wasn't comfortable and becoming ill.

And that's not a true experience for every Reflector, but just my experience. Sometimes my discomfort or what I was picking up on in the environment would present as a physical symptom of something and then removing myself from that environment, I would be completely back to normal and it was very bizarre at the time. And I remember in certain phases of my life, having anxiety in the fifth grade around this one teacher and it was so odd because this teacher would only teach one day a week. And then I had different teacher four days a week. And the one day a week when this teacher would show up, I think he was our art teacher or something. I would feel so sick and I would have to go home. And eventually my mom just stopped forcing me to go on the day that he was there.

And I can't explain it to this day. I don't know what it was about this person, but just as an example of how being around this one person would make me so uncomfortable to the point of being physically ill. But then the rest of the time around another teacher, I'd be completely fine. Just so much healing and compassion for my inner child, I guess, and my younger self. And now embracing that sensitivity that I really stuffed down and have tried to ignore and just not be so sensitive in that way and to put up these walls so that I wouldn't feel things so deeply and breaking those down, and really stepping into it as this is one of my gifts in this life and I can use this sensitivity to really help guide others on their next step forward.

Naomi Nakamura: That is so amazing. And I want to dive into that more, but maybe I should have said this beforehand, for those who aren't aware, what a Reflector is, a Reflector is the most rare Type in and a Reflector does not have any defined centers.

So I've done past episodes on Types. I've done past episodes on the nine centers and the Reflector doesn't have any of those nine centers defined because of that openness of your chart. You're really sensitive in all those areas.

I can see how maybe that teacher might have been having their own issues going on, that you were just picking up on that and you just feel things that maybe others don't. I can imagine it must feel really overwhelming and maybe that's where the physical overwhelm comes into.

Tanya Reyes: Yeah. And just thinking about having this knowledge now as well. Had my mom known this about me, for example, it would've given her so much more peace and ease rather than being so worried about me and why I was feeling this way. And that's what I love about this work is that, it starts with us as adults and individuals who are on our journey and seeking this. But ultimately I really hope that this knowledge trickles down to children so that we can nurture them in the way that they are designed to be nurtured in this life.

Naomi Nakamura: Were you labeled or maybe called a hypochondriac because you were having these illnesses and these physical ailments that were unexplained.

Tanya Reyes: I don't know if I resonated with that label, but it was just kind of known in my household that I got sick a lot and it wasn't necessarily this paranoia about getting sick. I was just sick a lot and it was never an immune thing, which is the weird part. It was always some sort of stomach issue or it was very specific, the way that I would experience physical symptoms when I was uncomfortable in my environment or around someone.

Naomi Nakamura: When you learned about what a Reflector is, and this is your design and these are the things that maybe explain a lot of things for you. How did you slowly start to integrate it to the point where you are now, where you have this awareness around it?

Tanya Reyes: Slowing down a lot and really cultivating patience in my life. And the slowing down part actually does feel natural to me, but I was always feeling pressured or rushed to keep up with the pace of other people around me. But patience is still challenging, especially when it comes to authority and waiting 28 days feels impossible sometimes. But now just in experimenting with following my strategy and authority, I've just developed so much more trust in the system. And I can honestly say that I have never waited my full inner cycle, made a decision and regretted it. The regret or remorse of making a decision or making a big purchase or something like that. That comes when I jump into something or when I don't wait out my full 28 days. Just experimenting, having it repeatedly proven to me that, when I do follow this, within myself, I always feel good about what I decide.

Naomi Nakamura: I'm a student authority. So I'm very instinctual. This idea of having to wait for the 28 day lunar cycle feels very foreign to me. Talk me through from your perspective what it means and then how do you actually do that? And wait. And what are some of the things that you've applied it to, whether it be waiting to make a purchase or maybe even some larger decisions?

Tanya Reyes: We're so opposite, your inner nature is spontaneous and fun and comes to you in an instant. And I am envious of that. I'm envious of every authority. That's not my own.

Naomi Nakamura: I think we all are to a degree.

Tanya Reyes: Yeah, definitely. So, for your listeners, if they're not familiar with lunar authority, what means is really a Reflector is most empowered when they wait a full 28 days to decide on something because without any consistent definition in our chart, the lunar transit are what have the strongest influence on us and the lunar transits create definition over the course of a month. So, the moon's 28 day cycle transits through all 64 gates in the mandala. And that is the only reliable pattern that a Reflector really has.

Naomi Nakamura: Within the absence of defined centers.

Tanya Reyes: And it gives us some sort of consistency in our life. The moon is essentially our time keeper. The 64 gates. I mean, if you do the math in 28 days, it's about 11 and a half hours that we spend in each gate. Our feelings and perspectives shift really often. And we really get a taste for our decision in 64 different ways over that time. And that's what we need in order to be able to gather enough information, to come to a conclusion about something. So we're going to see a lot of different perspectives in that time. And then at the end of a lunar cycle, we have a better idea of who we are and we can make a decision from that place whenever possible. We're designed to wait these 28 days before making a big decision or commitment. And how I started experimenting with my Lunar Authority was just applying it to the bigger things in life.

Naomi Nakamura: Before you get to that, how did you make decisions beforehand?

Tanya Reyes: I didn't.

Naomi Nakamura: Were you indecisive?

Tanya Reyes: Very indecisive. I was very easily swayed. I think this is also an undefined Ajna thing, but I was swayed by people who would be really confident in their decisions. And then I would feel like, Ooh, yeah, maybe that's the better option. Because having this sense of clarity was just so attractive to me because it's not something that I have within myself all of the time. And I think now, because, of course, we still have to make decisions on a daily basis. We can't wait 28 days to decide what to wear or what you're going to eat for breakfast. I really, by slowing down, have come into my body more and I can feel when something is right for me in the moment, in terms of my day to day thing. But it's also important to embrace the fact that we're going to feel really differently from one day to the next. Maybe I'm on a health kick for these couple of days. And then the next day I want something completely different. And just allowing ourselves to go through this process of experimenting because how we feel that day is ultimately true for us, but it's just not a going to be consistent with how we felt yesterday.

Naomi Nakamura: I can't see how, if you are a Reflector and you are not aware of this, it can really impact how you feel about yourself in terms of your ability to trust yourself and just the confidence you have in yourself.

Tanya Reyes: And actually just to come back to your question about the decision making, too. I can trace back certain parts of my life, where I was making really impulsive or excitable decisions when I would be just really lit up about something and I would go for it and then crash and burn or realize this person isn't for me or this thing isn't for me. As a rule of thumb, I try not to make decisions from a place of feeling excitable or nervous or from an emotional high or low. Our sweet spot is really when we feel kind of the average of how we felt over the span of a 28 day cycle. And that's kind of what we're going for because at the end of the cycle, we may not be 100% grounded and clear, okay, this is exactly what I want. We'll have a fuller perspective, but ultimately we're kind of measuring out the average of how we felt over the past few weeks.

Naomi Nakamura: When you come to a situation where it might be a pretty big decision, do you actually look at the calendar and figure out when is 28 days from now and circle it and observe for the next few weeks?

Tanya Reyes: Oh, Naomi, you should look at my Google calendar. I will plug the silliest things into my calendar for 29 days from the moment that it came into my awareness. And sometimes I get these little reminders, 29 days later. And I seriously wonder what the heck I was thinking. Obviously I don't want to do this. It's proof to me that, yes, it's so important for me to wait. When I get these reminders, and some of the things that I'm thinking about buying or committing to, or this job that I want. And then I realize I do not want that. And so something that I do or that I observe within myself in a practical sense of how I use my authority is if I plug it into my calendar and I haven't thought about it at all, and then the reminder pops back up, I know this isn't something for me because I have not even thought about it since it just popped into my undefined head center. It's something that I've been consistently thinking about over the course of the 28 days. And now I don't feel excitable or nervous about it, but I just feel kind of calm, but it's been in my awareness nonstop for the past few weeks, then that's a sign that, yes, this is something that I want to move forward on.

Naomi Nakamura: That is such great advice, especially for someone who's just learning their inner authority. I was wondering about that, I wonder if she actually tracks the 28 days.

Tanya Reyes: Oh, I do. I put everything in my calendar, down to the silliest things. And I'm at the point where anything over $80 or $100, I'll put into my calendar. And it's really interesting how things unfold during that time as an example of how our authority really works for us. It's just this tool that we have in our energetic tool kit. And I want to give you example of, I wanted to book this session with this teacher that I really admire, but it was a big purchase. This is a very expensive person to have a session with. It was something that I really wanted to do. I wanted to gift it for myself for my birthday, but my birthday was two weeks out. So I was, I'm just going to wait.

Previously, my tendency would have been, when I was first starting to experiment with my authority, I felt like, oh, I waited two weeks, that's long enough. I feel good about it now. I'm just going to move forward. But, as an example of why sometimes that's not enough time. The third week I was, okay, I'm feeling kind of impulsive. I can't stop thinking about it. This is something that I want to do. A good friend of mine ended up booking a session with that person. And she reported back to me that it just wasn't what I was looking for. And she shared a lot with me about what the session was, offered to share the recording with me. And it was so not what I was looking for. But had I not waited out those full 28 days, I probably would of just booked it, had the session and been disappointed. But during that time, my friend did the work for me and came back around and it was so clear to me that this wasn't someone I wanted to work with at that time. And, that's just a small, silly example that just happened to me last month.

Naomi Nakamura: That's a great example. This is such a great practical way to get started. But it's also, like you said, it's a great way to experiment and just see what happens and, in a way, be detached to the outcome and not try to will what the outcome's going to be with to just let it emerge and let it happen.

Tanya Reyes: You hit the nail on the head. Reflectors are meant to go through life a little bit aloof and kind of detached to the outcome because we don't know exactly how something's going to come through. And it may look completely different than what we had in mind. But ideally, we just move through life with a loose grip on things and that relieves so much pressure and Reflectors don't want to be under pressure. It is so uncomfortable to feel like we need to keep up or rush to do something, or we have to make this decision now. There is nothing I despise more than that feeling.

Naomi Nakamura: As a Reflector, you said it yourself, you're vulnerable because you have all of this openness in your chart. And so I would imagine that having healthy boundaries is critical. One, how have you gone about establishing that so that you know, energetically, when something is you versus when you might be picking up something from someone else?

Tanya Reyes: That's such a great question. And boundaries have been huge. That has been one of the major influences that Human Design has had on my personal life is helping me set clear boundaries in my life.

And also as a fifth line being in this projection field as well. I really need time outside of that. I understand my energy so much more now. And I'm just so much more clear on what nourishes me and what depletes me and that has made it so much easier for me to say no to things.

And it's really given me the language to articulate my needs as well and the language for why I am the way I am. And I can speak that to the people that are closest to me in my life. And that has really had such a positive effect on my relationships.

So honoring my energy comes first. And for me, that really looks like having enough time alone, outside of other people's definition, outside of the projection field. And that is a daily non-negotiable for me. And I know that's not possible for all Reflectors, if you have families or little kids, but even just having an afternoon pause, 10 minutes to just be alone and sit in silence, something as simple as that really helps me stay grounded throughout my day and be more clear on, like you said, who I am versus what I'm taking in from the world around me.

Naomi Nakamura: I really think that's the gift of Human Design is having that personal clarity and that awareness because that is really how you develop self-trust and then ultimately self-love. And to me, that is really what Human Design embodies.

Tanya Reyes: Absolutely. And also when we have experienced what it feels like to be in our own energy and know who we are, everything else starts to feel so much more uncomfortable. It's a lot easier for me to prioritize myself because I just know, I feel so much better. I'm so much happier. I'm so much more valuable to the people in my life as I show up as myself. And it just makes it so much more easier to prioritize ourselves when we've felt that.

Naomi Nakamura: And I want to point out something about your design too, because a lot of people might have this perception that because Reflectors are so open and they're vulnerable and they're sensitive. That doesn't mean that they're not leaders. And I think you have a very unique way of leading, but you have a five in your profile lines and five is just natural leadership. Have you seen how that marries together or any synchronicities there?

Tanya Reyes: So I've really been leaning into my innocence motivation lately because yes I do understand that there is this quality of leadership with a fifth line. I also have gate seven, very prominently in my chart, which is a natural leadership gate, but I kind of anchor into my motivation because I'm not really necessarily here to lead in a way of, look at me, everybody follow me.

Naomi Nakamura: The traditional way we think of leadership.

Tanya Reyes: It's more here I am. This is how Human Design has positively impacted my life. This is how I show up after having experimented with this for the last few years and feeling like I've healed certain aspects of myself that I couldn't even look at before. And this is just how I, I show up now and that will naturally attract the right people. And that's how I think of leadership. And it feels more natural for me. The thought of putting myself out there in the sense of, look at me, I'm standing here, everyone join in what I'm doing. That does not feel correct for me at all. My motivation has really helped me anchor into how I am designed to lead. And I don't think I'm fully clear on that, but it's definitely helped.

Naomi Nakamura: There's two things I want to point out. First of all, you are a two. And so the two is this natural brilliance that you may not recognize in yourself, but or you do, but it's definitely noticed by other people. And I can definitely see that coming forth within you. And the other thing I wanted out is the words you used about this is not the correct approach for me, because we're not saying that that's not the way to do it. That might be totally correct for that person, whatever their design is, but yet it's not for you. And I'm coming to learn that about myself as well about what's the correct way for me not saying that anyone else's way is incorrect, but just we have different ways of doing things. And we were talking about this before we started recording.

Tanya Reyes: And just leaning into what feels good. Ultimately what feels good for us is correct. And often when I have readings, I can't even count the number of times where clients say, oh yeah, I already know this about myself, but I don't do it. Or I used to be this way, but I'm not anymore. And that's really what Human Design does. It kind of lifts the veil on things that we already know about ourselves. But somewhere along the way, maybe we lost a piece or we took a different path or we got influenced in some way, or conditioned as the Human Design language says.

Naomi Nakamura: I say that a lot. And whenever I started reading, there's likely not much here that I'm going to share with you that you don't already know, but maybe a lot of this will be more affirming for you.

Tanya Reyes: Exactly.

Naomi Nakamura: Well, thank you so much for sharing. I've always had this fascination about Reflectors and to be totally truthful, I've not quite known how to relate to a Reflector, especially the lunar authority because it's total opposite of my authority. I don't know how I would grasp that. And in telling people what it is and sharing with it, I can give a textbook definition but, it's really helpful to hear from someone who actually has it and lives it every single day. So thank you so much for coming and sharing with us.

Tanya Reyes: I just want to say one more thing actually, just to empower any Reflector that may be listening. Because we've used the word sensitivity a lot and yes, we are completely open in these centers, but sometimes I'll get DMs from people and they'll say, how do you live your life? I only have two defined centers and I'm so sensitive and life is so challenging.

The Reflector aura does have a bit of a defense mechanism. The Teflon quality that it's often described, we do have this capacity to choose which energies we engage with.

Learning about this mechanical side of ourselves can really help us to not feel every single thing so deeply, but choose what we engage with. We have this sampling quality where we know what's going on. We can pick up on someone else's energy or the vibe of the space or whatever. But our aura is designed to protect us in a way. And it is different than a projector.

I sometimes would argue that Projectors feel things more deeply than Reflectors do because of the way you're designed and the way the quality of your aura.

Whereas Reflectors do have a little bit of a barrier. But if don't have the awareness of it, you don't really know, oh, this is something I can choose to turn on. I remember I used to feel in relationships or whatever. I could freeze people out in a way is like the language that I had for it. But now having more of an understanding of the way my aura operates, I realize, no, that is just me choosing not to engage with this energy. And there's nothing wrong about that.

Naomi Nakamura: Well said my friend. And like you said, the 28-day cycle, you go through all 64 gates. And so you're going to experience different things through the cycle.

I just want to say, I only have two defined centers myself. I'm a Projector, I'm very open as well. But that's where the awareness comes in.

And if you are someone listening and you want to dive more into Human Design, these podcasts are great. Following Instagram accounts are great. But if you really want to dive in, I would really recommend working with someone like me, like Tanya, whoever resonates with you.

So on that note, how can people find you and how can people connect with you?

Tanya Reyes: Yeah, I'm definitely most present on Instagram. So my handle is @tanyareyes.hd, but you can also connect with me through my website, tanyareyeshumandesign.com, and I'm always super eager to connect with people. And I love just receiving emails and questions and comments, from anyone on their Human Design journeys. Please reach out.

Naomi Nakamura: And I will have links to all of those in the show notes. So thank you so much. I've so enjoyed catching up and nerding out on Human Design is my most favorite thing to do.

Tanya Reyes: Same.