Episode 151: Self-Gratitude Is A Form of Self-Care
With the Thanksgiving holiday right on the horizon, it’s a good time to take a moment to really reflect on everything that’s been happening in our lives.
Ultimately, we all wish to be better people, and we each have our own interpretation of what that looks like, and our own journey in how to get there.
In this episode, I share how community and meditation have profoundly shaped what that path has looked like for me this year, particularly in the exploration of how to practice non-judgment (spoiler alert: it’s super hard), finding courage in forgiveness, and acceptance, and healing through vulnerability.
You’ll hear me discuss:
Using meditation for self-healing
Exploring non-judgment, forgiveness, and acceptance (especially towards ourselves)
How self-gratitude is a form of self-care
Listen to the Episode
Mentioned in the Episode:
New Workshop: Six Reasons You’re Tired All the Time...and How to Quickly Get Your Energy Back - for good
Episode 131: Reclaiming Holistic Wisdom Through Embodiment and Clarification with Sadie Adams
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Share the Episode:
“This work isn’t easy and it takes looking at parts of ourselves that we might not be proud of. So take a bit of time to reflect on the journey, on the growth, on the progress made, and appreciate it - celebrate it.”
Read the Transcript:
Hi friends! Well, it’s Thanksgiving week in the United States and it’s a little different this year. Or rather, a lot different. Normally, this is the busiest travel week of the year, but instead of traveling to visit loved ones over the long holiday weekend, many of us are staying home this year.
We may be feeling disappointed, but one thing that hasn’t been taken away from us is the opportunity to go inward and reflect on the things we have to be thankful for. And I don’t know about you, but despite so many things going wrong in 2020, for me, there are so many things to feel deep gratitude for.
And I don’t think I would be in the mindset or have this perspective had it not been for the Groundspace Meditation Circle that I attend every week.
Back in March, when the pandemic hit and we all went into lockdown the first time, my friend Sadie Adams, who’s joined me here on the show in Episodes 117 and 131, made her weekly in-person Groundspace Meditation Circle a virtual event, which then gave me the chance to attend, given that the circle met in Southern California and I’m in Northern California.
And with the exception of two or three Mondays, I’ve attended every single week, since March. And it’s truly been a godsend for me during this pandemic. It’s, well it's grounded me, given me a new community, a supportive community to belong to, a safe space to explore some really deep thoughts and feelings, to question perceptions, and beliefs, and given me the tools and perspective to shift my mindset on some things.
In those first few months of the pandemic, the circle spent a lot of time exploring topics like grief, and holding on to a “Need To / Have To” mindset, something I discussed back in Episode 141, because as a perfectionist, a Type A person, that really hit close to home. In fact, it made me see adrenal fatigue in a whole different way, realizing that to truly heal from something like that requires big mindset shifts. But that’s a topic for another day.
More recently in Circle, we’ve been exploring topics like judgment, and forgiveness, and self-compassion. And just to give you a little bit of background, the topics that talk about, are things that individual members of the circle bring up and share as part of the intentions they’re working on, and what’s been top of mind for them.
And you know, synchronicity is a real thing because they’re the same topics that I’ve been ruminating on, almost struggling with.
I think we can all agree that this year has been plain weird. There’s no other way to say it.
We’ve all experienced things we never imagined we would in our lifetime.
We’ve learned more about people we thought we knew but turns out we really didn’t.
New friendships have been formed which is amazing since, for the most part, we’ve only been able to connect virtually for much of this year.
Some old friendships shifted, been released, phased out…
But through all of it, I’ve come to feel a deep sense of gratitude in a way that I’ve never felt before.
Gratitude for my safety and protection, gratitude for my health and strength.
Gratitude for my work and the ability to provide for myself when so many others have lost work.
Gratitude for my family and community.
Gratitude for technology that’s enabled us to still be connected.
I mean, despite everything that’s gone wrong this year, there’s still SO MUCH to be grateful for, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt such deep gratitude like I’m feeling right now.
More recently, I’ve found my exploration of gratitude is expanding towards learning, perhaps for the first time ever, how to appreciate and have gratitude for myself.
Self-gratitude.
And that’s what I want us to talk about today because I think this year we have learned so much about ourselves, haven’t we?
We’ve learned just how strong and resilient we are.
We’ve learned how much we need each other more so than ever before, how much I need other people to be a part of our lives.
I’ve certainly learned, and let’s be honest, am still learning how to be vulnerable in ways that I don’t think I’ve ever allowed myself to be or feel before.
These are big deal things, so how did I get here? What in me has changed to be able to have such radical shifts in my perspectives?
Without going into every detail, because it's a lot, I mean, we can go pretty deep with this stuff, I want to share with you some points from the meditation circle that I’ve written down in my journal over the past few weeks, that have deeply resonated with me:
One topic that comes up every week is judgment. How do I recognize that I’m in judgment, and how do I stop judging?
So some things that we’ve talked about on judgment are:
Judgments are a need for control Judgments perpetuate the drama cycle - and none of us want to do that If you’re judging someone, you’re not loving them. This one really hit close to home as I’ve struggled with judging those who I love. But if I’m judging them, I’m actually not loving them. Expectation and judgments are forms of manipulations. And to take this a step further, expectations and judgments are manipulations of God, or whatever higher being you believe in Self-judgement is a form of second-guessing yourself, doubting yourself, but self-acceptance? Self-acceptance is a form of self-care; perhaps the biggest form of self-care you can do for yourself
So how do we move past judgments? Well, one lesson I’ve learned in Circle is that the anecdote to judgments is forgiveness.
And you guys, forgiveness is hard. Like, really, really hard. There’s a lot you have to work through, mostly on your own to truly understand and feel forgiveness. To truly forgive. And despite what our initial reaction might be, or at least my initial reactions have been, forgiveness is more about yourself than the person you’re trying to forgive. But it’s important, especially for yourself, because unforgiveness is the root of all disease. That’s a deep one, so give it some thought - unforgiveness is the root of all disease, because isn’t it?
Bitterness and grudges hurt us more than the person those feelings are targeted to. And if we hold on to those feelings for too long, it eats away at us and eventually, we start to embody those feelings. They physically affect us, and over a prolonged period of time, deeply.
But when we can get to a place of acceptance, as Sadie tells us every week, “Equanimity is empowerment, even more so than knowledge.” And isn’t that we all want for ourselves, to be empowered?
Along with judgment is a sense of entitlement, but entitlement is a learning disability. And we’re not entitled to anything.
So one thing that I’ve learned through the circle is when I find myself struggling with judgment and entitlement, to ask myself, “Who is it in me that… insert what you’re struggling with… and why?
“Who is it in me that can’t forgive this person, and why?” And when we can get to that place of acceptance, that’s really when we’re free, when we’re empowered, when we can feel gratitude, especially self-gratitude and that’s what’s going to help us bring our motor actions, ie what we do every single day, in alignment with our intentions, what we want for ourselves, what we want in life.
And just to be clear, everything that I just shared with you is not my wisdom. It’s from my collection of notes that I’ve taken from what’s been shared in our Groundspace Meditation Circle.
These are thoughts, words, and ideas that have resonated with me deeply, that I continue to ruminate on, and help reframe my mindset.
Like diet, sleep and exercise, judgment, forgiveness, and acceptance, are things that will be constant works in progress for me, but I have a safe space, a community to meet with to remind me, and to support me to continue working on them because it's important, especially for me.
This kind of stuff is hard work. It takes looking at parts of ourselves that we aren’t proud of, and I know that I’m certainly not the only one on a journey like this, so I think, we need to take some time to reflect on the journey, on the growth, on the progress made, and appreciate it, celebrate it.
It’s hard work to open yourself up to such vulnerability, but my mindset on so many topics has shifted and been reframed in ways that I had never even considered, and in ways. It's made me a kinder, more empathetic, compassionate, and hopefully a better person.
So I use an app called, Shine, which has meditations and lessons on personal growth and development, and months ago, they published an article on self-gratitude and I’ve I recently found myself coming back to it because it reminded me that gratitude makes us healthier people.
When we’re able to align our motor actions with our intentions, mentally, we’re in a better place, which helps us to sleep better, make better choices, especially when it comes to the things that we do daily to take care of ourselves - what we eat, how we manage our money, and especially how we treat others.
When we are thankful, we’re kinder, more compassionate, and accepting of people which strengthens our relationships with them, and if there’s one thing that this year has taught me, especially being an independent person, is that we need each other.
I realize I’ve been a little all over the place here. It tends to happen when I “wing it”, but I guess my takeaway is that non-judgment, forgiveness, and acceptance opens the door for deep gratitude and helps us bring our motor actions into alignment with our intentions. And I think that’s really what we all want - to be in alignment with our goals and desires.
So with that, I want to express my deep gratitude for you, the listeners of this show. I always say this, but I truly mean it, I appreciate the time you give to listen to what I have to share.
Time is valuable, it's so important to me, because it's the one thing we can’t get more of, so anytime anyone gives their time and attention to me, I’m hella grateful.
So thank you for being here, thank you for listening, thank you for being open to the things that we talk about on the show - I hope they’ve been as helpful to you, as they have for me.
If you celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope you have a wonderful holiday and I’ll see you right back here again next week! Bye!
Naomi Nakamura is a Functional Wellness & Human Design Coach. She helps women who struggle with stress, fatigue, and burnout find freedom and empowerment by optimizing their health, finding balance, and upgrading their energy so they can live life on their own terms.
Combining her diverse professional background, and her unique approach integrates Functional Nutrition and Human Design she guide clients on a highly individualized journey of self-discovery, observation, and integration by removing physical, mental, and emotional confusion and overwhelm, simply taking them back to the very basics of health through their Human Design.
She believes that when our bodies function optimally, our personalities and souls can shine through everything that we think and do with empowering clarity and ease.
Naomi resides in the San Francisco Bay Area and can often be found exploring the area with her puppy girl, Coco Pop!
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