Read the Transcript:

Hello there, my friends. Welcome to The Live Fab Life Podcast. I'm your host, Naomi Nakamura.

Today I'd like to spend some time talking about reframing failure, particularly for those who have a 3rd Profile Line and, to an extent, those who have a 6 Profile Line.

I recently spoke with a client who has a 3rd Line and shared some new things at work that didn't pan out. They kept saying over and over that they failed - they were a failure. It broke my heart because, as a 3rd Line, there is no such thing as failure. That sounds so cliche, but it's true for 3rd Line folks.

And you've probably heard this before, but it never hurts to hear it again. So, if you're experienced with Human Design and have a 3rd Line consider this a pep talk. I know that whenever I hear something about a topic, I’m familiar with, I still get something new out of it. If you’re that person, stick with me; hopefully, you'll find some valuable reminders.

Now, I previously did an episode on Profile Lines, Episode 193, so if you’re not yet familiar with Profile Lines, pause this episode and listen to it and then come back to this one.

Our Profile Lines are our personality. The first is our conscious side, how we see ourselves, and the second is our unconscious side, how others see us.

For example, my Profile Lines are 1 / 3, the one being my conscious side, how I see myself, and the third being my unconscious side, how others see me.

The 3rd Line is also known as “the martyr” and related, the 6th Line is known as the “role model.” The 6th line is relevant to this conversation because it’s cyclical, meaning that there are three cycles throughout the lifetime of a 6th Line. The first cycle happens in a 6th Line’s first 30 years of life, where they operate as a 3rd line, which is why this conversation is applicable to them.

Now, if you have neither a 3rd nor 6th Line, this conversation is still relevant to you because you likely know someone with these Profile Lines this episode can help you better them.

If you have a 3rd Line, you probably know it’s all about life experiences - you must experience things for yourself. I think of it like a kid who wants to do everything themselves. Essentially, that’s 3rd Line energy because experiencing things is how you learn; it’s your learning style. 3rd Lines are experiential people. The phrase, “You won't know until you try,” is the epitome of 3rd Line energy.

The crux of the 3rd Line is not trying because of a fear of failure, which is often rooted in the need for perfection, which is rooted in control. But 3rd Lines who hold themselves back from trying will never learn all that there is for them to learn because their wisdom comes from those life experiences of trial and error. 3rd Lines are meant to live life because their wisdom comes from what they learned through their lived experiences – it’s their classroom.

Now it’s easy to say, “get over your fears and do it anyway,” but it's not easy.

I recently had a conversation with a friend familiar with Human Design on this topic. They were curious about how I aligned to my 3rd Line because they said I'm a very stable person. I've lived in the same home for 16 years and had the same full-time job for 15 years. I find a lot of comfort and safety, and stability. But stability has nothing to do with experimentation.

I'm game to try almost everything at least once. I'm not sure about skydiving or bungee jumping, but I'm not ruling it out completely. If the opportunity presented itself, I’d consider it, but it wouldn’t be a “no-brainer” decision.

But for most things, I'll try it at least once. Whenever Instagram releases new features, like going live, I'll try it. I started a side hustle despite having no idea how to begin, but I wanted to see what it was like. Starting this podcast is an experiment all on its own.

I’ve traveled solo internationally with no apprehension, which not everyone is comfortable with.

Endurance training was stepping out of my comfort zone as someone who didn’t play sports ever and had no athletic ability. But I wanted to try long-distance running and have run 22 half-marathons and trained for nine marathons. No one pushed me, I had a curiosity about it one day and decided to give it a try.

I’ve learned so many lessons from all these experiences that genuinely carry over into all aspects of my life. It’s helped me learn how to communicate effectively, and what’s ineffective communication, how to care for myself, how to express myself, how to read and work with others.

All of my endeavors have made up my life experiences. None of these experiences went well the first time I tried them, even international travel, but that’s a story for another day. But with a lot of time, patience, and practice, I kept trying and trying again.

Sometimes I took my lessons learned, cut my losses, and walked away but never once did I fail because when you're a 3rd Line, there's no such thing as failure. Failure is relative. When you believe you failed, are you measuring yourself to the expectations and standards set by others? Rarely are comparisons apples to apples, and rarely do comparisons serve us.

So, the next time you find yourself holding back from something you want to do or, even better, something that your Authority is telling you to try, think about what's on the other side of your fear. What are you missing out on? What are you depriving yourself of because you're afraid to try?

Perfection is another word for control, and control is rooted in insecurity.

Think about what's just within your reach, if you're willing to release that fear, if you're able to remove the need for control and let yourself experience what's waiting for you – what’s possible?

Now, there are two groups of people here - those who are afraid to try, and then there are those who aren't scared to try. They do try - they try things out, but when things don't work out, they think of themselves as failures, as my client did.

My friend, if fall into this category, please know that you couldn't be more wrong. Just by trying, you are already successful. So, let’s reframe that perception of failure because the experience of simply trying is your education, and you achieved a certificate of completion – a degree even!

You tried something, you learn something, and what you learned - that wisdom you gained will be used in whatever comes about in your future.

Through my years of long-distance running, I learned how to take care of myself and what’s NOT taking care of myself. I learned that I’m strong, enduring, resilient, and capable more than I imagined possible.

I carry this with me every day. I carried this with me when I started side hustling as a health coach, then becoming a Human Design guide. I carried it with me, starting this podcast. What I learned from running taught me to believe in myself beyond the tangible skills I repurpose into everything I do daily.

Before I close, I want to share one more thing about 3rd Lines and relationships. You may have heard the phrase “bonds made and broken.” This refers to when a 3rd Line’s relationship has run its course. We take the lessons learned from the experience of the relationship and move on to what's next.

I had a period in my life where several relationships shifted and ended, all within a short time. It was hard, devastating, really. I questioned myself, questioned my worth as a person., questioned if I was good enough, if I was likable if I was lovable.

Learning about my 3rd Line and about “bonds made unbroken” helped me not only to reframe the relationships but also the circumstances surrounding them, and I was able to appreciate what once was and reflect on what I learned from them; What did I learn from those relationships, and what could I take away that would make my new relationships even better. It’s quite deep, it's quite nurturing, it's beautiful even, but also, it’s matter of fact.

It helped me to release my anger and my resentment at the other people in those relationships, which at the end of the day, was healthier for me and them.

So, the 3rd Line is deep. Personal growth is involved, and there’s no shortcut to personal growth. Our life experiences make us not only wise but also resilient, and in this day and age, we can use all the resilience that we can get.

So, if you’re a 3rd Line or a 6th Line in your first cycle, surround yourself with people who encourage your exploration process and who honor the need you have to explore.

And if you’re not a 3rd line or a 6th Line in your first cycle, but you have one in your life, be that person who supports them. Be supportive of their need to explore and experience things no matter the outcome. Help them reframe their perspective of failure.

So here’s my little pep talk. I’ve had this in the queue for a while, so I’m happy to get these thoughts out and address it finally.

Thank you so much for listening. I appreciate you being here on this experiment with me; I’ll see you again next time. Bye for now!