Episode 110: What Will Be Your Catalyst for Change?
It’s the time of year where we want to be healthier, we want to be wealthier, we want to make all our dreams come true, and it feels like anything is possible! It’s also the time of year where feelings of inadequacies, lacking, and not being enough can surface.
I fully advocate you doing you - embracing who you are, fully and unapologetically. But I also believe there’s nothing wrong with aspiring for more - of yourself and for yourself.
So what will be your catalyst for change? What will be the thing that will keep you steadfast and focused on whatever “that thing” is that you want for yourself?
In this episode:
I talk about mindset, self-growth, personal development and share what tools have helped me do this work over the past decade.
I share a few things I’m going to focus on in 2020 (and what the proudest goal I’ve achieved for myself has been thus far)
And I ask a few thought-provoking questions to help you figure out what your catalyst of change is going to be.
LISTEN TO THE EPISODE
MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE:
Episode 108: On Quieting the Mind and Allowing Yourself A Chance to Breathe
CONNECT WITH NAOMI:
SHARE THE EPISODE:
“There is no such thing as perfection - just perceptions.”
Read the Episode Transcript:
Welcome back to The Live FAB Life Podcast. I’m your host Naomi Nakamura, and here we are again, at the end of not just a year, but of the decade! I honestly have no idea where the time has gone because it feels like 2010 was just yesterday!
So it's this time of the year that for many of us, our focus shifts from the holidays to the new year and with it comes all these feelings of hope and optimism and a chance for a fresh start, right?
We want to be healthier, we want to be wealthier, we want to make all our dreams come true, and this time of year it feels like anything is possible!
But if there’s one thing that I’ve learned over the years is that making things happen requires actually changing the status quo. We have to be willing to make changes that are necessary for our desires to come to fruiting because nothing changes if nothing changes, right?
We can’t expect things to change if everything remains the same.
Over the past few years, I have come to learn that lasting change comes with introspection, and a heck of a lot of personal development, and self-growth, and as a by-product, self-awareness - whether we want it or not. When you start to do this kind of work, that kind of growth just slams itself in your face and you’re like, “Whoa, this is not what I expected to happen!”
And depending on how you react to it, it’s either a super empowering thing, or it’s not. I can practically guarantee that it’ll feel tough, but then it’s up to you to choose how you react to it. Are you following me?
In my personal journey over the years, there are different tools that I’ve come to rely on that have been tremendous in helping me understand myself, the roots of my mindset and beliefs, and what to do with them.
First, there’s been therapy, which I’ve openly shared about, particularly in Episode 014 where I interviewed my personal therapist. I’ve recently gone from quarterly check-in visits back to bi-weekly visits as I work through some issues that I shared about in Episodes 107 and 108.
I’ve said this before and I’ve said it again, I think this world would be a better place if everyone opened themselves up to therapy. It’s given me the gift of freedom from self-loathing and envy and really has made me feel like self-imposed weights have been lifted from my shoulders.
Other tools that I’ve found to really help me are things like Gretchin Rubin’s Four Tendencies and the Enneagrams.
In the Four Tendencies, I’m a Questioner and Gretchin Rubin has this to say about Questioners:
“Questioners aren't likely to make resolutions because January 1st feels like an "arbitrary" date to them, but they'll set goals at other times.”
This is true for me. I’m not someone to wait for January 1st to set a new goal or resolution, I’ll do it anytime I feel like it. It doesn’t even have to be on the first day of the month, or even on a Monday.
So if you’re listening to this episode after its publish, know that this can still apply to you, especially if you’re a Questioner like me!
But even though I am a Questioner and think that January 1st is an arbitrary date, that doesn’t mean I won’t use this time to set goals or resolutions for myself. I’m not a Rebel that way.
One thing I’ve noticed this time of year is that there tends to be a lot of judgment.
Judgment about whether it’s better to set goals or resolutions. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, “Does that even matter?”
You do you, and if you prefer to set goals, then set goals. If you prefer to set resolutions, then set resolutions. The important thing here is that you have a willingness and desire to strive for something new - a milestone, new habits, whatever it is there is no right or wrong answer.
You might be thinking, “How do you define a goal versus a resolution?”
I’m sure many people have many different ways of differentiating if they even do so, but for me, I like to think of a goal as this milestone that I want to achieve. Like building a wardrobe that suits my personality and personal style.
So my end game would be to have a wardrobe that just does that. But this goal has action steps and smaller milestone that I’ve set for it to happen like:
Finish the online personal styling course I purchased a few months ago Clean out my closet and sort through things that meet my criteria, and things that don’t Identify what pieces of need and determine a budget and timeline for them
And by the way, this is an actual goal of mine for 2020.
Whereas a resolution, I look at as new habits I want to develop like:
Putting more serious effort into developing a regular meditation practice Grooming my dog every night Sorting through my mail every day and setting a timer for 10-minutes every night to pick up my house and clear out clutter
Also, actual resolutions of mine. You get the idea, right?
Now I know this time of year, there are A LOT of people talking about setting goals. And I could pull up past blog post articles I’ve written in past Decembers and Januarys about this topic too, but one thing I’ve noticed, and this could be purely my own projection is that unintentionally, posts like these can make you feel guilty.
Like -
Your not setting goals the right way Or you should be setting goals not resolutions Or you’re goals aren’t good enough Or something is wrong with you and this is the time of year to fix it.
New year, new you.
But, my friend, there is nothing wrong with you.
Sure, you have flaws - but we ALL have flaws and if you’re being judged about something, know that the person judging you is being judged by someone else for their own flaws.
There is no such things a perfection - just perceptions.
But if you do choose to set goals or resolutions, whatever you’re calling them, that’s okay too.
And if this is you, let me ask you this:
What will make your new habits stick? What will help you stay steadfast in working towards your goal?
If you’ve found yourself setting the same goals year after year and trust me, there are certain goals that I realized I’ve been doing this for too, what will make this time different?
There’s a number of goals over the years that I’ve set that I’m really proud of accomplishing. But do you want to know the one I’m most proud of?
Flossing my teeth every night before bed.
I am dead serious about it.
I was never a consistent flosser until about five years ago when I set this goal. When I’d have a dental visit, the first thing I’d say when I sat in the chair for a cleaning was, “I don’t floss so don’t lecture me or make me feel guilty about it.”
And one year I’d had a cleaning just before the end of the year where my dentist said, “I know you don’t want the flossing lecture but you really should think about it because your gums are looking terrible.”
And so guess what - I set that as a goal and actually stuck to it. My catalyst for this change was that I didn’t want gum surgery. I’ve never had any type of surgery before in my life, with the exception of getting my wisdom teeth pulled by an oral surgeon, and I’m not even sure if that counts, and just the thought of surgery scares me to pieces.
So I said that from then on, I’d floss every night before bed, and guess what - I did. And now I can’t go to bed without doing so. And I don’t know how I spent the first 40 years of my life not doing it. I mean, I’m even super picky about the kind of floss I use now! It’s like I don’t even know who I am anymore!
So let me ask you - what will be your catalyst for change? What will make this time different?
When it comes down to it, this is where your mindset comes in. Because if your catalyst for change is big enough and important to you enough, you’ll do what you need to do to get yourself in the right frame of mind to make it happen.
You’ll find tools that will help you get there. Like I shared, The Four Tendencies and the Obliger versus Abstainer teachings of Gretchin Rubin has REALLY helped me over the years, and more recently, understanding what my love languages are and my Enneagram type.
These tools have helped me get to know and understand myself, which ironically, is something that a lot of us aren’t familiar with. It helped me examine who I am, my thought processes, how those thoughts, perceptions, and opinions came to be and if in fact, I was okay with them.
And if I wasn’t, what did I need to do to change them.
Because the reality is, your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words, and your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny. And that’s a quote by Gandhi
In other words, you ARE what you think you are, and that is what you BECOME.
It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So if you think, “I can never do the 21-Day Sugar Detox” then guess what - you won’t.
If you think, “I can never get healthy.” - you won’t
If you think, “I can never start a business or sell.” - you won’t.
It all starts with your mindset and your mindset determines your attitudes and habits, and your habits create who you are and can also shape your destiny.
So here’s a few questions for you:
What attitudes are holding you back?
What are you thinking about yourself and your life most of the time? Is it mostly positive or negative?
Are you even aware of most of your thoughts and attitudes?
Can you make a change in your attitude that can help get you to move in the right direction?
What would you attempt if you knew anything was possible?
What would you attempt if you knew you would succeed?
What if the sky really is the limit?
It’s like we’ve been conditioned to focus on, “What if I fail” and “I could never do that” that we never even bother to try.
But the truth is that you are who and what you tell yourself you are, not what anyone else tells you. Only you can decide what’s possible for yourself and for your life.
And if something is important enough, you’ll find a way to make it happen. That’s what your catalyst for change is.
So what negative thoughts are you dwelling on that holding you back from doing or getting what you really want?
What things are you listening to that other people say (or that you’re telling yourself) that’s just taking up brain space?
How do you change all that negative talk that’s going on in your head?
Here’s what’s worked for me:
Focusing on ONE thing per month.
And this was really hard for me to learn and do because I’m the person with a to-do list a mile long of all the things I want to accomplish, but eventually I learned that all that list does is set me up for failure. And I got to a point where I just got tired.
So I focused on ONE thing per month. Well, maybe 3 things, depending on how big of a thing it is.
So maybe ONE big thing and 2 more manageable things - trying to be transparent here…
So my challenge to you is to ask and answer the questions I posed to you. And if you want to go back and read through them, you can do so on the transcript for this episode over on the show notes at www.livefablife.com/110.
Like I said, sometimes this requires dredging up and having to face some really hard things and it’s tough - it really is. You may feel some really unpleasant things. But you’ll come out on the other side of it for the better.
Just like we’re all flawed, we also all have self-doubts and insecurities. No one is immune to this.
But work through it, get out of your own way and with your talent, the payoff potential can be huge!
I’m going to end quoting a caption from the Swanwick Instagram account that I think really nails the point I’m trying to make here. And if you recall, they joined me in Episode 077 - so you can check that out to hear more from them.
But their caption goes:
“Getting your s*t together requires a high level of honesty with yourself, friend. There's nothing easy about realizing you're the one holding yourself back, right?
This is the reality check we all need. Mentally preparing for the new year is good but holding yourself accountable for actionable results is fantastic!
Aside from taking action, one of the hardest pill to swallow is realizing a few things are in our control.
So let's focus on the part of our lives we can control and make shifting into the new year a breeze, shall we?
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
So my friend, happy new year to you if you’re listening to this at the time of publishing.
And if you’re not, take it from a Questioner, you don’t need the new year to get started!
Thanks for joining me for this episode, and Happy New Year my friend!
I’m looking forward to all that 2020 has in store for us. I’ll see you back here again next week!
Naomi Nakamura is a Functional Nutrition Health Coach. She helps passionate, ambitious high-achievers who are being dragged down by fatigue, burnout, sugar cravings, poor sleep, unexplained weight issues, and hormonal challenges optimize health, find balance, and upgrade their energy so they can do big things in this world.
Through her weekly show, The Live FAB Live Podcast, programs, coaching, and services, she teaches women how to optimize their diet, support their gut health, reduce their toxic load, and improve their productivity, bringing work + wellness together.
Naomi resides in the San Francisco Bay Area and can often be found exploring the area with her puppy girl, Coco Pop!
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