Episode 108: On Quieting the Mind and Allowing Yourself A Chance to Breathe
Being a Type-A person, managing my to-do list, meeting schedule, and borderline OCDC behavior is par for the course. But at some point, all that daily tension takes its toll.
In this episode, I’m continuing my discussion from Episode 107 with an update on the current status of my health.
You’ll hear me share how I’m using conventional and functional approaches to repair hormonal imbalances, and also, how I’m doing some inner work to address deeply rooted behaviors, tendencies, and mindsets that’s kept me in a fight + flight state, so I can bring myself back into balance in a more rested + digested state.
I share the different tools and exercises that I’m incorporation into my daily routine to reset my behaviors, build new habits and how they help to balance hormones.
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MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE:
Episode 107 - Viewing Your Health From A New Perspective
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“If spend more time in a “rested & digested” state vs “fight & flight,” maybe I can start to come back into balance.
And then maybe, I’ll sleep better, feel better and not just because of medications or sleep aids, but because this is just how I am now.”
Read the Episode Transcript:
This episode is a continuation of the last episode, Episode 107 where I shared an update on my health and how I’m coming to fully appreciate how as women, every aspect of our health really does revolve around our cycles.
And I shared how I recently had some lab work done during a specific phase of my cycle to see what my current levels are for these hormones compared to what they ideally should be during that specific phase of my cycle.
And I shared that, not surprisingly, given how I had been feeling, that hormones that should have been high were low, and ones that should have been low were high.
When I looked at how these hormones function in the human body, I noted how they’re all connected to the function of the hypothalamus.
Your hypothalamus is located in your brain, near your pituitary gland and they work to control how hormones function in your body which can determine things like:
Your body temperature Appetite Metabolism Emotions Sleep
To name just a few…
So when I made that connection, the first thing I thought of was hypothalamus and pituitary and then HPA-axis dysfunction, which happens when the hypothalamus, pituitary gland, and adrenal glands are not working the way they should be.
And when this happens, we experience things like - fatigue, burnout, weight gain, poor sleep, anxiety. Having experienced this before, I knew that at the root of all of this dysfunction was stress and not having a sufficient balance between being in a sympathetic state versus parasympathetic state.
In other words, my Type A-ness is too strong and I need to learn how to relax.
Being Type A, slowing down and relaxing, truly relaxing, is not easy for me to do. In fact, as I’m learning, its really going to take some deep work on my end, so in this episode, I want to share with you some things that I’ve started doing to help me with this.
So when my doctor asked me what my goal was for my visit, I said, I just want to sleep well and feel rested. As I shared in the last episode, I’ve been deprived of this for most of my life, but pretty significantly since early April of this year.
While I’m able to fall asleep within minutes of my head hitting the pillow and sleep well when I do sleep, I’d been waking up at 2 and 3 am, unable to go back to sleep and its been so debilitating. I would almost give my right arm just to sleep til 7 am!
My doctor agreed that sleep is her biggest concern right now and the primary thing we should focus on.
So for the immediate, she prescribed a special form of synthetic progesterone, that I had to get from a specialty pharmacy, that I’m only to take during specific days of my cycle.
At the time of this recording, I just finished my first round of taking it and while I didn’t have this life-changing experience of deep sleep for a full 8 hours a night, I found that my sleep did feel more restful and although I did wake up in the middle of the night, I was able to go back to sleep. So during the day, I felt more energized, which meant I worked out more often and had better quality workouts. My head felt lighter so I had more clarity, focus, and motivation, and just overall felt better.
I’m going to continue with this for a few more cycles and then assess to see what the next steps are.
But just taking medication doesn’t address what’s at the root of my problem - and that’s my inability to turn off my brain, to relax, to be at ease - to just be.
This is where deep work comes one.
The first thing we did was that my teacher taught me a breathing exercise called Viloma Breathing. It’s a form of pranayama breathing.
To practice it, I start with a deep breath, then completely exhale. Then I do what’s called “interrupted inhalations” where I’ll inhale a breath for a couple of seconds, hold it for a couple of seconds and continue to do this for 3-4 times until my lunges are completely full. Then I very slowly exhale all of it nasally.
I’ve been doing this for about a month and it’s been an observation in my breathing. Having dabbled in yoga in a variety of stages of the past several years, I’ve come to know that breathing is key to everything. I know it helps me tremendously in the workouts that I do with my trainer. And I’ve been able to transform the breathing that I do on those sessions to workouts that I do on my own, even a run. And it’s been transformative to relieving the anxiety that I might feel around doing a challenging exercise or make the exercise feel a bit easier.
But practicing this viloma breathing a few times a day has helped me to feel calm, light and able to see how much I wasn’t feeling those things without even realizing it. It’s been soothing to my brain.
Half the battle, actually all the battle, with my following through with this breathing prescription is remembering to do it! So, you know how on the Apple watch you can set reminders to take a break for getting up and moving, as well as breathing? Well I started using my Apple Watch again, I had forgotten the password and had to do a hard reset, and it’s helped me make this a regular habit.
Another thing I’ve started doing to address it is working with my therapist on this.
I started seeing my therapist back in 2009, so ten years ago, to deal with, ironically sleep issues. And back then it was all directly tied to work-related stress, being micro-managed and so forth. If you want to hear more about that experience, I did have my therapist join me way back in Episode 015, so give that a listen.
As opposed to when I started seeing him way back then, instead of weekly visits, for the past few years, I’d been having quarterly visits - more as maintenance check-ins.
But with my once again, desperation for quality sleep, I’ve started working with him again to address my inability to shut off my brain, my inability to be still and do nothing - in other words, my inability to relax.
So like we did when we first started working together ten years ago, we’re doing the same exercises - journaling.
And I’m having bi-weekly visits and we’re getting really deep into a lot of things and why I feel like I can’t relax. And really comes down to one word - CONTROL.
As I’m sure anyone who knows me well in real life can tell you, I have the insane need to control everything.
So using a Thought Journal, we’re, or rather I’m, examining what things I’m trying to control, starting with focusing on one area of my life at a time.
So first we’re starting with my work, and this includes all of the different kinds of work that I do.
I’m making lists of the things I’m trying to control, what I do to maintain control, and what will happen, or what do I fear if I were to lose control. With the ultimate goal of being able to accept what those consequences are.
Because if I learn how to do that, maybe I can allow myself to come up for air and give myself a chance to breathe.
Gosh, just saying this out loud feels somewhat liberating.
Of course, to help in particularly challenging moments, my doctor also taught me other breathing and body relaxation exercises which I’ve actually found quite useful in stressful situations, like supporting my team during our Black Friday holiday promotion, which is always super intense.
Now, I know that many of you who listen to this show are like me. You’re highly motivated, goal-oriented, focused on making big impacts and accomplishing great things, in other words, you’re just as Type A as I am. We kinda find each other.
So if this is you, I hope that me showing what I’m currently working through, which I know is CRITICAL to my health and my overall wellness and vitality, can help give you some ideas on what you can do to give yourself a chance to come up for air allow yourself a chance to breathe.
It’s not easy to do. It really is deep work where you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable - to yourself and that’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. Some of my sessions with my therapist have been tough pills to swallow.
I’ll be ranting on about someone, or a situation that had completely frustrated me and he’ll point out how my reaction is completely rooted in my need for control and I’ve had to pause and think about it and admit that he’s right. And grudgingly see the situation from an outsider’s perspective and how if I’m able to release some of this need for control, then maybe I can learn to let go, and relax a little bit. Then maybe I won’t be in a sympathetic state all the time. Maybe it’ll allow me to spend more time in rested and digested state versus fight and flight all the time.
And maybe if I’m able to do that, my HPA axis can start to come back into balance and then maybe, I’ll sleep better, feel better and not just because of medications or sleep aids, but because this is just how I am now.
Like everything, it’s not going to happen overnight, but I’m tired of feeling crummy all the time. This is my catalyst for change, or at least to make a genuine effort to address it. And if I give myself half a chance who knows can happen.
So there you have it, that’s my real-life story right now, I’ll check in again in a few months and give you an update on how it’s going.
The next few episodes coming up are going on related topics where we’re going to get into other tools and ways to tap into that parasympathetic system a bit more so we can all feel more rested and digested. I’m excited to introduce you to those upcoming guests and share with you the fantastic discussions that we’ve had.
That’s all for this week, as always, thanks for being here and I’ll see you back here again next week!
Naomi Nakamura is a Functional Nutrition Health Coach. She helps passionate, ambitious high-achievers who are being dragged down by fatigue, burnout, sugar cravings, poor sleep, unexplained weight issues, and hormonal challenges optimize health, find balance, and upgrade their energy so they can do big things in this world.
Through her weekly show, The Live FAB Live Podcast, programs, coaching, and services, she teaches women how to optimize their diet, support their gut health, reduce their toxic load, and improve their productivity, bringing work + wellness together.
Naomi resides in the San Francisco Bay Area and can often be found exploring the area with her puppy girl, Coco Pop!
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