Read the Transcript:

Hello there and welcome back to The Live FAB Life Podcast. I'm your host, Naomi Nakamura.

And today, I think today is going to be the first of a 2-part series on how we communicate.

Today, for Part One, I want to share something that I've spent a lot of time contemplating and have been struggling with and working through regarding how I communicate.

The reason I'm sharing this is that I’m often asked, “What do I do with this? It's so great that I have all this information about my Human Design, but now what do I do with it?

So, that’s what you can expect to hear in upcoming episodes – stories on how I, and others, integrate our designs into our daily lives.

One thing that I have been struggling with for the past couple of months is my creativity. I’ve had a very strong urge to create something. I haven’t felt this kind of inspiration or felt this energized to create in several years, and it’s exciting. I feel that is something formulating in me and I don’t know what it is, how, or what will emerge, but I feel giddy about it.

But at the same time, I've also been having creative blocks. I’ve been feeling creatively stifled -- I've used that word a lot – “stifled,” because I really don't know how else to explain it.

The urge to create is there but what to create? I have no idea.

It’s been a struggle in many ways, it’s held me back from sharing my voice and expressing myself because I feel this ambiguity.

It’s odd because I’m very clear on my message. I know what my approach and point of view are, but the quagmire I’m in is feeling unsure in what tone do I express it in.

I think there's a difference between messaging and knowing then voicing your message, versus the tone in which you express it.

I have a couple of different areas that I’m looking at this in, which is why this will probably be a two-episode series because it feels like too much to tackle in one episode.

But when it comes to my clarity on my messaging, I believe that when we are happier, we are healthier. So, the question is, what makes us happy? How do we become happy? In my experience, I’ve felt happy when I'm true to myself. When I’m true to myself is when I feel free and when I feel empowered.

But how do we do that? How do we feel free and empowered so that we can be happier and healthier? Well, there’s not a linear path for that. There's many different paths – we’ll each have our own journey to what we define as free, empowered, healthier and happier because those things can mean different things to different people.

Over the years, my path towards feeling free and empowered has evolved and much of it is rooted in self-love and self-trust. It’s been about developing self-awareness and learning how to love myself and learning how to trust myself. And Human Design has been a framework that’s been instrumental in guiding me in learning how to do this.

It’s been instrumental in helping me see who I am versus who I’ve perceived myself to be based on the external influences, or the “conditioning” that I’ve been subjected to.

Human Design has been instrumental in helping me recognize, accept, and appreciate my natural gifts in ways I hadn’t allowed me to do so before.

And so, when it comes to my message, that’s what it’s about – all of the above! It’s about learning how I’ve come to feel more comfortable in my skin. And I want that for you and everyone else too!

But how do I express this? What is the tone that I take when speaking about it here on the podcast? Or in writing a caption for an Instagram post? Or in emails to my community? Or in face-to-face conversations?

And this confusion is what’s, in part, making me feel creatively blocked. I feel like I can’t move forward or do anything until I have clarity around how to express my voice and share my message.

I don't like being preached to. I'm sure you don't like being preached to either. No one likes that. Yet, I’m so very aware that that’s how I can come across. Heck, sometimes I feel more conscious of it than those with who I’m communicating to.

But the quagmire around that is that telling people what to do is kinda the essence of Projectors, am I right? If you really think about it, we’re here to lead and guide, i.e., tell people what to do. But there’s there are ways to do that without feeling or sounding preachy.

So, lately, I've been observing myself – self-observation with non-judgment, or at least trying hard to be non-judgmental - and how I react to things. I think I tend to observe more than a regular person, and by observing, I mean asking myself, “Why am I reacting to the things that I do?”

As I scroll through my Instagram feed - and let me just say I'm very selective about who I follow and allow into my space on Instagram - I've really been taking my time and looking at each post to observe what is my reaction to it is.

If I love a post, I ask myself, “Why do I love this so much? What is it about this that I like? Is it the colors? Is it the imagery? Is it the caption? Is it the tone of the caption?

Equally, if I see something that I don't like, I asked myself, “What is about this that makes me feel uncomfortable or unsettled? What is it about this that pushes my buttons? Why don’t I like this? And is my reaction to this a reflection of this poster, or of me, or something else entirely not related to either?

Through this exercise in observation. I've noticed that I don’t like posts that I perceive are preachy. Now, I'm not saying that the posts are preachy, rather, I'm saying that that was my initial perception of them. I'm sure some of you have the same reactions to my posts or episodes. Whether they are or not, is almost irrelevant, at least in this context. Rather, what’s important is our perception of our reactions to them.

“Why am I feeling this way? And somewhere along the way, I start to feel self-conscious about how I express myself in fear of how I come across because of the tone I choose to express myself in. It’s paralyzed me to the point where I don’t want to do anything – and sometimes I don’t!

While I have a Defined Throat Center, I’ve found myself asking, “How do I express my voice? How do I speak my truth?” I know what my voice and truth are, I know the avenues that I have to express them - this podcast, social media, emails, person-to-person conversations - but what is the best tone for me to express this? Has anyone ever considered this? Because I haven’t heard anyone else talk about the tone in which they express themselves.

So, now, I’m gonna take you a little bit behind the scenes and share how I’ve been working through this creative block that I’ve been struggling with. As a coach, I'm obviously a full believer in coaching and coaches need coaches. We all can use external support.

First, I’ve been working with Jenny Wirt of Sartori. Jenny joined me in Episode 177 on Wardrobe for Wellness. In addition to styling and design, Jenny also does energy healing work. She helped me with this last Fall and as life began to feel overwhelming at the start of this year, I started working with her again.

I can’t explain what she does, but the grounding and clearing work she does is always spot on without me giving her any context into what specifically I’m struggling with at the moment. It’s given a lot of clarity on some blind spots that I’ve had.

One thing that she recommended I do is read the book “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks. The book is about having an “upper limit problem” which refers to when we reach certain levels of success, we unconsciously start to sabotage ourselves from reaching the next level and I can see how this is kind of what’s going on here. I listened to this book about five years ago, but now I'm in a totally different space and place than I was back then, and listening to it now with the circumstances I'm in is a whole different experience. It’s felt like I’m listening to it for the first time and it’s illuminating all over again.

Another thing I’ve been doing is taking Service Design School again with my friend Nadia Gabrielle who joined me in Episodes 179 on Subconscious Capacity Building and 201 on Exploring A Self-Projected Authority, and as a preview, she’s joining me for an upcoming third episode in a few weeks!

Nadia runs a program called Service Design School where she teaches service providers how to design their businesses in a way that provides the best experience for their clients.

Having the urge to create something yet not knowing what that is, and feeling creatively blocked, well it was the perfect time for me to go through Service Design School again. While I know the process, having the container be led through it by Nadia, be on a time schedule, and have the community of others going through the program has proven to be the most productive use of my time.

When I talk about “the urge to create something” what I mean by that is what’s the next thing that I can create to offer you, my community. Some have suggested that I create a course, but does the world need another course? Maybe, I don’t know.

So, I’ve been going through the Service Design process which includes conducting interviews with past clients. That has been a tremendously insightful exercise. I’ve done my best to stay detached from any ideas and just listen to what’s been said, and then sit back and reflect and see what emerges.

Nadia’s approach also involves self-exploration, using Human Design, as well as our Astrological Natal Charts, specifically our midheaven because the midheaven rules our work and career, and Mercury because Mercury rules our communication and how we communicate.

In my natal chart, my midheaven is in Capricorn which represents ambition and resilience, and my Mercury is in Sagittarius which is fire energy and represents philosophy, optimism, opinions, and storytelling. Well, if this doesn’t offer some insight as to the appropriate tone of voice for me, I don’t know what does!

I’m not an astrology expert but I wanted to explore this more, as well as other parts of my natal chart so I reached out to my friend Julien Elizabeth, who joined me in Episode 144: Uncovering the Path towards Your Best Life through Astrology.

Working with Julien to break through my creative blocks has been especially helpful. One of the tools she recommended is to do Morning Pages. If you're not familiar with Morning Pages, it's actually one of the first tools for healing that I learned about in nutrition school seven years ago. It was brought forth by an author named Julia Cameron and I’ll link to her website in the show notes that you’ll find at www.livefablife.com/214.

The concept behind Morning Pages is that you’ll find clarity and inspiration through free writing. In fact, she says, “The bedrock tool of a creative recovery is a daily practice of Morning Pages.”

To practice it, when you wake up in the morning, you get a blank sheet of paper and just start free writing - whatever comes to mind. The idea is that as you write, creativity and clarity will come to you.

After doing this for a few weeks now, I have to tell you that it works. As I said, I’ve known about Morning Pages for a long time, but it wasn’t my favorite because I tend to get overwhelmed with a blank sheet of paper. My Head and Ajna centers are undefined so I can easily feel mentally lost and overwhelmed.

Up until recently, my journaling practice consisted of the Five-Minute Journal which is exactly what it is – a short, guided journaling exercise that I do quickly in the morning and evening. For me, it’s a simple way to reflect and express gratitude and appreciate highlights of my day. It’s not an exercise for in-depth reflection which is what Morning Pages allow.

After sharing my apprehensions about Morning Pages, Julien offered to provide me with journaling prompts to help me get started and it’s been so helpful.

Over the past several weeks, I’ve been practicing Morning Pages with prompts like:

“Think about a dream that you recently had and then write or draw something inspired by it.” “What are 10 things that I love about myself?” “How do you love and how do you show compassion for yourself?” “What is something you wish you knew 10 years ago?”

I usually write about 3-5 pages. What I start writing, answering in the prompt, I find myself following a train of thought that takes me to a place nowhere near where I started with the prompt, but, somehow, I end up with the exact clarity of what I was needing and searching for at that moment.

It truly is helping me break through some of these creative blocks. All three resources individually and collectively are very powerful on this journey that I’m on.

It's been startling to see some of the words that end up written in my journal. At times I’ve asked myself,” Where are these words coming from? Is this even me my handwriting?”

As a side note, can I just say that in this digital age, I’ve discovered that my handwriting is terrible! My elementary school teachers would be appalled with how terrible my handwriting has become. I’m appalled at how terrible it is because I used to have pretty good cursive! Now, I can hardly read my own writing!

That being said, I highly encourage you, if you want to try Morning Pages for yourself, to do so by handwriting versus typing on a keyboard. I was tempted I still am tempted to start typing on my iPad, but I think a lot of the magic comes from actually writing things out.

As I mentioned earlier, in addition to listening to The Big Leap, Service Design School, and Morning Pages I’ve also been interviewing past clients, people who have had Human Design readings with me with the goal of hearing what their experience was, what gaps they still have and how else would they like to be supported.

It’s all been coming together, and I feel that a weight has been lifted and creative breakthroughs are coming. As a byproduct of this, I’ve gained more clarity about the tone in which to express myself.

I’ve been reminded that storytelling is my sweet spot. It’s been ironic because I’ve always been big on storytelling, especially on this podcast. Longtime listeners have heard me talk about what I call, “real people's stories.” I've had guests who have large audiences and are big influencers, but it's equally important to me to have people on who have smaller audiences or even no audiences – who aren’t business owners, coaches, influencers, specialists, but merely a person with a story to share.

I believe that people relate to people. It doesn’t matter what someone’s status is – we all have a story to tell. I've always tried to be transparent when sharing my own story as well. In the wellness world, especially when it comes to health coaches, there’s a fine line that we need to balance on with the advice that we give because we're not doctors, we're not licensed professionals, and some people get into trouble because they crossed that line.

I've always been very aware and cautious not to cross that line and the safest way to do that is to share through storytelling. If I share my own story or someone else's story we're speaking from our own personal experiences and I think that, more than anything else, is what resonates and connects us to each other. It’s our person-to-person stories.

And it was confirmed for me as I did my client interviews. I asked what compelled them to choose to work with me, out of all the other Human Design coaches out there, many of whom are more experienced than I am. And their response was, “Because I felt that you could relate to me, you weren’t someone who speaks down to people or tries to position themselves above others.”

That warmed my heart because that is how I feel, how I try to convey myself, and a reminder to me of the best tone for me to express myself in. I think I've always known this, but somewhere along the way, I got distracted and lost in the trenches.

If you listened to the last episode, Episode 211, I shared how I’ve felt fearful in expressing myself, and both those things, communication and fear lie in the Throat and Spleen centers, which happen to be the only defined centers in my Human Design, and how I reflected on how it's connected to the skin issues that I’ve been battling for the past six months.

I can tell you that it’s getting better. Both working through the fear, rediscovering the tone in which to communicate, and my skin issues. I appreciate those of you who have reached out with concern and sent well wishes. I’ve felt very supported. The plan that my care team and I put together is working. And I share all of this because it’s not just about what foods I’m eating or not eating, it’s just about what supplements or combination of supplements I’m taking. It’s equally about doing deep, inner work.

So, if you’ve been struggling in some way with any similar experiences, I share this because:

You may already know your voice and what you're struggling with is how do you express it. What tone do you express it in? And you may already have the answers, it may be right in front of you, but maybe you need just a few exercises to remind you, to bring you back to who you are.

I'm often asked is,” What am I focused on in my Human Design? If you’ve ever wondered, just look at what the episodes are on here on the show. What we talk about here is very much a reflection of what I’ve gone through at some point, as well as what I see my clients and community go through. There's synchronicities between us so I believe that whatever it is that is shared, there’s someone there who needs to hear it.

As always, thank you so much for your time and attention. Stay tuned next week for the continuation of the conversation on how we communicate: messaging versus tone. Bye for now.