Read the Transcript:

Hey there. Welcome back to The Live FAB Life Podcast. I'm your host, Naomi Nakamura.

Today, along with the next series of episodes that's likely going to take us through the summer is going to be focused on how we integrate our Human Design with work.

We can't deny that work is a huge part of our lives, right? And with that, I believe that our work is one of the major sources of stress in our lives. Much of our identities are tied to our work.

Our most consistent relationships are with those that we work with. I’ve spent more time with my colleagues than my own friends and family because I'm with them five days a week, at least 40 hours a week, sometimes even more!

So, it's not surprising that studies have shown that when we have conflict-related to our work, it can have a huge negative impact on our physical, mental, and emotional health.

In this episode, I’m answering the question: “Can you share advice for Projectors who are working for someone else and always feeling drained and small.”

While I’m no business coach, and while I’ve had my own coaching practice for six years now, I also do have a 26-year and counting career working in the corporate world for someone else.

I’ve worked at small startups, established mid-size companies, and for the past almost 15 years at a large enterprise organization. I’ve worked for both private companies and public companies. And of my 26-year career, 22 of them have been spent in the tech industry.

I can’t think of a bigger dichotomy than the fast-paced culture of high-tech versus the slow and steady pace that which Projectors thrive. So, I know a little bit something about feeling drained and small when working for someone else.

I've worked for managers who have recognized what value of what I have to offer and given me space to contribute in my own way that best uses my energy and talents. These have been the most nurturing times in my career that’s felt so empowered and free. I've also worked for other managers who created a mediocre environment where the general feeling was, “This is okay, I guess. I enjoy the work that I do and the people that's okay.” Things are just done according to the way it was always done. The work isn’t necessarily stressful or draining but it wasn’t expansive, interesting, or challenging and I wasn’t invited to contribute in ways that maximized my talents – I wasn’t seen or utilized for what I had to offer.

And then I've worked in situations where I was micromanaged, and when someone says they feel drained and small, being micromanaged is the situation that immediately comes to mind.

Because when you're micromanaged, that’s your manager saying, “I don't trust you. I don't trust your ability to do your work well.” In my opinion, a manager who creates this kind of work environment, well it’s more of a reflection on how that manager feels about themselves than who they’re micromanaging.

And what's more draining than working for someone who doesn’t trust you, who makes you feel so small that want to curl up into a fetal position and make yourself small because that’s how being treated that way makes you feel.

So, what’s some advice that I can offer to a Projector who works for someone else and always feels drained and small?

Let’s start as I always do - by asking questions for inquiry - self-observation with non-judgment.

First, what is it about the work that makes you feel small? Is it the way you're treated by your manager and/or colleagues? Is it because you're not being recognized with praise, or with a raise, bonus, and/or promotion? Is it how you're spoken to by others? What is it that's making you feel small?

And the follow-up - what is it about the working environment that makes you feel drained? Is it the same thing that’s making you feel small? Something different? Is it the fast-paced nature of your work making you feel drained? Is it the work hours that you work?

I work for a global company and collaborate with colleagues all over the world so sometimes my day starts very early and sometimes they go late into the evening. I understand that this happens from time to time, but can I manage it so it doesn’t become the norm? I've been able to successfully do so, so far.

Just this week, I had a day that started with a 7 am call and ended with my last call at 7 pm. Of course, I had breaks during the day where I could get some personal things done that I normally would have done in the early morning and evening, but days like this don’t happen all the time. It’s a balance.

If it did start to become the norm, that’s when I’d need to put up some boundaries around my calendar. It really comes down to energy management because remember, Human Design is an energetic framework.

So, back to the self-inquiry questions: What makes you feel small? What makes you feel drained? Are they the same things? Are they related to the actual work that you do?

For example, if you're a project manager, is the source of your feeling drained and small related to your actual project management work?

Or, if you’re in Finance, is it related to your actual finance work? If you're in Sales, is it related to your Sales activities?

Or is the source of your angst related to how your interpersonal relationships with others? How do you interact with others? How you're treated?

These are some very distinct observations to make - self-observations with non-judgment, peeling back the layers to look at the root of your angst?

If it’s the nature of the work that you're doing, are there that you can make your work more interesting and exciting to you? It doesn’t have to be a major job or career change. Sometimes, small tweaks can make all the difference.

Before I go any further, I want to remind you that as a Projector, energy management is critical for you. Projectors are non-sacral beings which means that Projectors don't have consistent energy, in the way that Sacral beings, Generators, and Manifesting Generators.

Secondly, are you following your Projector Strategy of waiting to be invited?

Yes, you work for someone else, but following your Strategy still applies, particularly if you’re feeling small and drained due to interpersonal relationships.

Are you being invited to share your thoughts and opinions? Are you giving unsolicited advice? Is there an energetic openness for you to share and contribute?

If the answer is no, why is openness not there? Can you create an openness? Can you create invitations and opportunities to be recognized?

If you haven’t listened to Episode 225 yet, check it out. It’s an episode with my perspectives on Projector invitations. I talked about defining invitations and reframing how we think of them, and what you can do to create invitations for yourself because I believe that Projectors can do that – create invitations.

Now if you're not feeling an energetic receptivity or that invitation, and you don't see opportunities to create that energetic openness or invitation, or you don’t want to – this is important to acknowledge too, then perhaps it’s time to find another space or place within the organization or not, where your gifts will be invited and recognized.

Invitations aren't meant to last forever. Maybe it's time to move on to find another opportunity to work where there’s a brand-new invitation waiting for you!

I’ve noticed this false belief that Projectors are limited in the kind of work that we do because of our need for rest and for invitations. I don’t believe that Human Design limits us in anything. We Projectors, because don’t forget, I’m one too, can do anything we want.

But I do believe that we need to approach each opportunity and situation in such a way that it aligns with our aura, our energy type.

Will the work allow you to use your auric gifts regularly? As a Projector, will the work embrace your ability to see the big picture, to be a guide? Is it an environment where you can be recognized? Remember, Projectors have a deep need to be recognized – to be invited.

How well can you manage your energy in this work environment? It all comes back to energy management.

This is a good segue to boundaries.

Boundaries are an essential part of managing your energy. But it’s one thing to talk about boundaries, it’s one thing to know you need boundaries, but it’s another thing - a skill to be able to establish boundaries. And not just establish them but communicate and uphold them.

Now, if the reason you're feeling drained small is due to how you're being treated, perhaps you're being micromanaged and/or not feeling recognized, part of the inquiry process, self-observation with non-judgment, is taking an honest look at what boundaries have you established, what boundaries you have yet to establish, and how are they being upheld and respected.

If you haven't established boundaries, what boundaries need to be established? Who do you feel boundaries need to be established with? Do you feel safe enough to have a conversation with these people about the need for boundaries? Do they need to be reminded of the boundaries you’ve already set?

And if you don't feel that there’s a safe environment to have these conversations, are there others you can enlist who can help facilitate the conversation?

If not, can you establish any unspoken boundaries meaning, can you establish them for yourself and uphold them without others knowing? With adhering to your boundaries without even knowing that they are.

I’ve shared an experience in this before where I was feeling anxiety and pressure to respond to emails from my leadership team at all hours, day and night. Then I heard one of the leaders saying that someone responded to their email on a Saturday and it let them know that it was okay to email them on weekends.

So, without telling anyone that I was establishing a boundary, I just stopped responding to non-emergency emails after hours, and guess what – the expectation that I was available at that time slowly disappeared, and my boundary was unconsciously respected.

If you’d like to hear more about boundaries in the workplace, listen to Episode 121: Understanding Your Priorities & Establishing Boundaries in the Workplace. In that episode, I was joined by a colleague who, at one time was my manager.

That same guest joined me again in Episode 129 on Best Practices for Working From Home and Managing Virtual Teams. We spend a lot of time in that episode talking about around establishing and upholding boundaries as well.

Both of those episodes were recorded before Human Design was a part of my life, but since then, we've come to learn that Terri, my guest in both of these episodes is a 5 / 1 Manifestor who doesn’t know a whole lot about Human Design, other than bits and pieces that I’ve shared with her

But when you listen to her speak, you’re going to think, “Oh yeah, I can see it. She has the commanding presence of a Manifestor and the leadership of a Five Line.”

But what I find interesting is that even as a Manifestor, she’s worked for someone else for her entire career, so even though Human Design wasn’t a lens through which we had that conversation, keeping in mind her design, you can see how she has managed her energetic needs working for someone else.

Most recently, I talked about Human Design and Boundaries in Episode 218, then had a follow-up in Episode 219: How to Establish Boundaries where I was joined by a friend of mine, Diane Sanfilippo who’s done a lot of teaching on creating, communicating, and upholding boundaries.

Boundaries are not easy. It takes a lot of courage, respect, and love to establish and uphold them. But they’re just as beneficial for those you’re establishing them with as they are for you.

Going back to the question of looking for Projector advice, I encourage you to look beyond your Projector aura. Look at the other parts of your Human Design. What are your profile lines? Are you a 5 / 1? Are you a 1 / 3? Are you a 2 / 4? Are you a 6 / 2?

What can you glean from other parts of your design that can help you understand more about yourself so that you can energetically approach your work, working for someone else, in a way that will help you apply your gifts, follow your Strategy, manage your energy, and establish boundaries so that you don’t feel so drained and small?

When I hear that someone’s work leaves them feeling drained and small, it’s an indication of a need for boundaries, which then lends to a need for better communication and energy management.

It requires valuing yourself to put yourself so that your needs can be met so that you can show up and do your best work that benefits everyone that you work with and work for.

And if this feels scary and insurmountable, enlist the help of a colleague, friend, therapist, or coach, like me, who can guide and support you along the way. There’s only growth on the other side.

Now, I’d love to hear from you. Are you a Projector who works for someone else? Do you seen recognized and invited? Or do you feel unseen and burned out? What strategies have you tried to help you get into a better space?

If you have any questions feel free to come over and leave a comment on the show notes for this episode at www.livefablife.com/230 for Episode 230, or come on over and find me over on Instagram at @livefablifewithnaomi.

I’m really looking forward to having conversations with you on Human Design, Projectors, and work – I think they’re so valuable to have, so with that, I’ll end here and look forward to seeing you right back here again next time. Bye!