Episode 217: Projectors Rapid Fire Q&A with Nadia Gabrielle

PodcastHuman DesignHuman Design FundamentalsHuman Design for Self-DevelopmentNadia Gabrielle
Written By Naomi Nakamura
The Live FAB Life Podcast 217: Projectors Rapid Fire Q&A with Nadia Gabrielle

If you’re a Projector, or you have a Projector in your life, this episode is for you!

Returning to the show is Nadia Gabrielle. Nadia helps her clients set themselves up for success in their lives and businesses through Brand Building, Design Thinking, and Service Design, incorporating Human Design into her work.

She’s joined me in Episode 179: Subconscious Capacity Building and Episode 201: Exploring A Self-Projected Authority.

Nadia also runs @ProjectorsInvited, an Instagram account for Projectors with a sense of humor.

In this episode, Nadia and I do a rapid-fire session, answering Projector questions submitted by her followers on invitations (Projectors’ strategy), relationships, careers, and the awesomeness of being a Projector.

Listen to the Episode:

“In Human Design, we call this process deconditioning where you grow into who you actually are and you’re shedding these endless layers of learned behavior, reinforced behavior of the things you’ve seen modeled.”
— Nadia Gabrielle

Read the Transcript:

Naomi Nakamura: Hello there, and welcome back to the Live FAB Life podcast. I am your host, Naomi Nakamura and I am so excited to share today's episode with you. Joining me for the third time is my mentor and my friend, Nadia Gabrielle.

Nadia first joined me back in Episode 179, on Subconscious Capacity Building. And then she returned for Episode 201, sharing what it's like to be a Self-Projected Projector.

Nadia is a business coach for service-based owners, and she also runs the Instagram account, @Projectors Invited, where she shares what it's like to be a Projector using humor. It's a great follow if you are a Projector or if you love one, love us.

Today, Nadia joins me for a rapid-fire Q&A on Projectors. I love this episode, not only because I'm also a projector, but we were able to see all the different questions that we have as Projectors. And so, we dabble a little bit on Projectors doing business as entrepreneurs. We dabble a little bit on Projectors and relationships, not just romantic relationships but all kinds of relationships. And we also do dabble on Projectors and dating. We had such a fun time.

Unfortunately, didn't get to answer all the questions that were submitted. However, she is going to return for another follow-up episode. So, if you are a Projector, sit back and enjoy. If you love a Projector, then also I hope you get a little bit more insight into what it's like to be us. So with that, let's get to the show.

Hello, my friend. Welcome back to the show.

Nadia Gabrielle: Hello and thank you for having me again. It's always such a pleasure.

Naomi Nakamura: Well, this is your third time joining me and I know I've told you this, but you have a standing invitation to come and join me anytime because I so love our conversations. We just spent 20 minutes chit chatting.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yes.

Naomi Nakamura: And we were like, "We really should have recorded that, because that would've been great material to have."

Nadia Gabrielle: That was really good footage.

Naomi Nakamura: Well, you were last on in Episode 201, which by the way, happens to be one of my most popular episodes, talking about how you... I don't want to say live with, but what's it like having a Self-Projected Authority. And I find it interesting that it is one of my most popular episodes, because that's such a rare authority to have. [crosstalk 00:02:57]

So since then, what have you been up to?

Nadia Gabrielle: Oh, it's been a while. I've really been focusing on Service Design School, which you know this, is my five-week program for service-based business owners. And this cohort that we're in right now, this current round is the last round that I'm teaching and leading personally. So I just knew I wanted to put everything I've got into it and make it the best one ever, and I think we've succeeded. It's been really wonderful.

Naomi Nakamura: I will say I'm going through it, this round the second time, and the experience between the first and second round has been wow. I got a lot out of it in the first round. But going through it now having a little bit more progress in my business, has been... I don't know. Just so many things just have popped out at me that maybe I just didn't quite catch the first time. So it's been phenomenal, it's been fantastic.

Nadia Gabrielle: I'm so glad to hear it. And it is such a process, right? Like, as I always emphasize it in class, it's not just one and done like, "Okay, done this, done this, done this." It deepens, it's a methodology, it's a language that you learn. And the deeper you go into it and the more you work with it, the more it starts making sense. I'm so glad you feel this way. So that's really been my focus. And then of course, my client work that kind of just runs parallel to anything else I'm doing.

Naomi Nakamura: Awesome. Anything new coming out from you?

Nadia Gabrielle: I do have some plans, some super exciting plans. I think they're super exciting for something new, but it's too soon to tell because as you know, I will require approximately like 7 million business days to get it ready, Projector problems. Or rather, no motors defined Projector problems. Am I right?

Naomi Nakamura: You are so right. Well, we will anxiously await to see what that is.

So today, we are doing a Q&A episode on Projectors. Well, first I want to start off by asking you as a fellow Projector, what was your first reaction to learning your Type?

Nadia Gabrielle: I was thinking about this and it's funny... Obviously, been a while so I haven't thought about this in a while. But I think it was just more like, "Hmm. Hmm?" Being like, "Really?" And it actually reminds me of how I felt when I did... Do you know the theory of the four humors? I don't know if that's what it's called in English.

Naomi Nakamura: No.

Nadia Gabrielle: I know that it was for sure adapted and used by Hippocrates. So I do not know whether Hippocrates actually came up with the framework, but it's... I don't know, like the ancient Greek personality. Ancient Greek MBTI. He for sure referenced it in his work. And what it is, it's a framework that divides people into four different categories and four different temperaments. So it really kind of is like the Human Design [inaudible 00:05:45].

Naomi Nakamura: I was going to say, this might be the very first personality system ever.

Nadia Gabrielle: And it's more of also a physical system. However, it does give insight into personality as well. And I remember I did a typing for myself, I did it with a practitioner maybe 10-ish years ago. And my temperament, according to that typing, we did it with a machine, mine was melancholic. If that's what it's called in English, I think it is. And I found that so difficult to see at the time. And I remember it being really difficult to identify with.

And then my mom did hers with the same practitioner and she told me her temperament, and we sort of read up on it and looked it up and that one felt much more aligned for me, too. I was like, "I kind of feel like I'm that one as well." But then over the years, I started to realize that, "Yes, of course," because that's what I have seen modeled all the time. Especially in my formative years. My parents are divorced, my mom was my main caregiver. So of course, I would sort of replicate her modeling and her tendencies and adopt so many of them as my own.

And in Human Design, we call this process deconditioning where you kind of grow into who you actually are and you're shedding these endless layers of learned behavior, reinforced behavior of the things you've seen modeled. And as that happened, I can now really see that temperament in myself. So that was really illustrated to me of how it goes sometimes with these frameworks, especially the ones like Human Design as well, where we don't type ourselves. It's different from, I don't know if you've ever done Myers-Briggs, but-

Naomi Nakamura: I have. And I always say that... I love the Enneagram. I think my type is very accurate for who I am.

Nadia Gabrielle: Which one are you?

Naomi Nakamura: I'm a One.

Nadia Gabrielle: Ooh, interesting.

Naomi Nakamura: I'm a very clear One. However, the Enneagram, you feel it's this really long assessment, right?

Nadia Gabrielle: Yeah.

Naomi Nakamura: And I know a lot of people who are unsure with the results that they got, they don't identify to it or they disregard it and type themselves as something else. And I understand that, because I think whenever there's anything where you need to answer questions yourself, there's a certain – bias.

Nadia Gabrielle: Test yourself-

Naomi Nakamura: Yes.

Nadia Gabrielle: So hard.

Naomi Nakamura: There's this conditioning perspective that will always come into play, regardless. And that's one of the reasons Human Design just resonated with me so much, is because there's no room for that.

Nadia Gabrielle: [crosstalk 00:08:13] question, yeah. [crosstalk 00:08:15] [Manifestor 00:08:16] or Projector?

Naomi Nakamura: Right. When I found out what I was, I had no context of Human Design. So I didn't even know what the others were, but I just know that the word manifest has certain meanings and I was hoping to be an MG or Manifestor. And to hear that I'm a Projector, it kind of disappointed me just because of the word, but also I didn't have any context into what any of it meant. And when I learned more about what they all mean, I really identified as a Projector.

Nadia Gabrielle: [inaudible 00:08:49] yourself in it, yeah.

Naomi Nakamura: So when you learned your Type, what were the questions that came up for you?

Nadia Gabrielle: I don't know that I had so many questions.

Naomi Nakamura: Or I guess where did you turn to find out more?

Nadia Gabrielle: I like to just study and read, and that's what I always love to do. And then I think quite quickly, it became very clear to me that the system would prove its value or its effectiveness, or lack thereof in the application of it.

So then most of my questions I suppose were getting answered in my experiment in the moment, but also in hindsight. That's something I'm really big on, because we're not just Projectors since the moment we learned we were Projectors, we've been Projectors since birth. So even though of course, we haven't consciously entered into experiment prior to learning about it, you've still had that aura. You've been going through life in a certain way.

Naomi Nakamura: And we have been experimenting with it since birth, we just didn't know.

Nadia Gabrielle: We just didn't know. And I think once you have that understanding and you look back, you can learn a lot, just really that vision. So I kind of just went into it without the need or the pressure on the system, to give me anything or to make life amazing or anything. And I think that was really helpful. Like, I'm not outsourcing my worldview to anything. So it really was and continues to be about experimentation.

And now, I have to say that lots of my questions that maybe I didn't even know I had, are getting answered by... Now, at this point, I've worked with and taught hundreds of Projectors and so many patterns are becoming really apparent, and I'm sure it's the same for you right through your client work, and that gives you a really in-depth view that really nicely compliments what you've learned and what you've read in the books, and so on.

Naomi Nakamura: I have to agree with you. Hindsight really is everything. Right before we got on this session, I was thinking about, "How did I come to learn Human Design and Projectors in hindsight?" And I thought of, I don't know how this came to my mind, but I thought about when I was in kindergarten...

It had to be kindergarten or first grade, and my mom had a parent teacher conference and mind you, I was like, what? Five or six years old. And she came home and she said, "Mrs. [Neely 00:11:06]," who was my teacher, and these are not her exact words, but this is basically what she said, was that, "You're very bossy and maybe one day, you'll have your own class that you can teach." And now, I'm thinking... And I'm like, "That's probably my [Projectorness 00:11:19] coming through, because I saw a better way that she could be doing things."

Nadia Gabrielle: Yeah. That's the word she used. Or maybe that's not even the word that was used, but it kind of came across one way but really, it's that essence coming through.

Naomi Nakamura: At such a young age.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yeah. Probably even more so at that age, before [crosstalk 00:11:40] went on and like, the conditioning-

Naomi Nakamura: Exactly. Being exposed to the influences of the world.

Nadia Gabrielle: Exactly.

Naomi Nakamura: So, in addition to your own personal Instagram account, you also run @ProjectorsInvited. You talked about it here on the show, it's one of my favorite accounts to follow on Instagram. What's the backstory on that?

Nadia Gabrielle: Yeah. You know how in Service Design School, we do context swaps in CPO, in Module 3? So again, the context swap is kind of like... Well, we're not going to go into it because then, we're just going to keep talking about it. But let's just say that is one thing that is embedded in my brain. And it's not just since I learned about it from my teachers when I was studying service design and business building and so on, it's just how I see the world and how my brain works. So when I see something, my synapses just start firing and in my mind, it's getting associated with something completely different through some pathway. And that's how @ProjectorsInvited came to be. Because I would watch TV and be like, "Oh, this is like that." Even though it had nothing to do with it. And then I thought it was funny, and then I just-

Naomi Nakamura: It is funny. Every time you post something, I'm like, "I feel so seen." And it also makes me feel okay with being my Projector self, because like you say, "Love us."

Nadia Gabrielle: Love us. And the other thing, and we talked about this in service design as well, my entrepreneurial archetype and my communications specific sub archetype, is the Creative. So that's a big class that we do in Week 1 in Service Design. So everything through me, the way I communicate always goes through the lens... Or sort of through the lens, I suppose, of having a little bit of a creative kick to it or a little bit of a special flavor to it. For me, it's humor specifically, because that's just who I am as a person. But I do think that it can be educational as well, or it can be permission giving. Like, it's memes. I'm not-

Naomi Nakamura: But it's always so spot on.

Nadia Gabrielle: And you can learn. People really sometimes tell me like, "Oh, I've learned so much in this meme. I've learned more in this meme that I learned in the course I just took on Human Design. Like, it just made it click into place." So yeah, I love doing it.

Naomi Nakamura: So, tell me about that community there. You said people tell you they learn so much, they feel so seen. Tell me about the @ProjectorsInvited community.

Nadia Gabrielle: It is the best group of people, honestly. You're getting a taste of it in SDS right now, we have like 99% Projectors, plus one really amazing and wonderful Manifestor in this cohort right now. And this group is everything. It's such a good mix of people. And I can say that for the whole of @ProjectorsInvited, just cool, fun, interesting people with an interest in learning about themselves and others, being thoughtful with themselves and others, and doing business in a way that is thoughtful and contributing to the larger picture. It's really my favorite place to be. And I feel like each time I send out a newsletter, I get the most wonderful email replies back. It's really fun. And I know that it's not like that in every little corner of business or in every industry. And when I think in terms of Projectors really stepping up in this new experiential cycle that we're just sort of getting ready to enter into and stepping into leadership, it really gives me goosebumps to think about the amazing Projectors that I've been able to connect with. Such as you, Naomi.

Naomi Nakamura: Well, I think it's so needed because we live in such a Generator type world.

Nadia Gabrielle: Totally.

Naomi Nakamura: That we are different people and we're all different people. Manifestors are different, MGs are... Reflectors are different. But as Projectors, so much of how we are is not necessarily widely accepted. And so that shift is coming. And I think just having that community, is really empowering.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yes. And having that network, right?

Naomi Nakamura: Yes.

Nadia Gabrielle: Like you and people like Janelle Turner, who I think you know as well.

Naomi Nakamura: Yeah. She's been on the show, too.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yes. Amazing. It makes me so happy. So just to have these incredible, talented, thoughtful Projectors in this sphere, it really gives me hope for the future. And in terms of the community aspect, I realize that people want more of a community and to connect with each other, that's been the main feedback I've received. And believe me, I am hearing you loud and clear. Sorry.

Naomi Nakamura: No, you're fine. So you put out a call for questions on your @projectorinvited community. So we're going to go through some rapid fire, but I'm going to [inaudible 00:16:26] as the host of this episode. And I'm going to ask you a question we briefly talked about before we started recording. As Projectors, whose strategy is to wait for invitations, how do we build community?

Nadia Gabrielle: Yeah, it's something that I think about a lot as well. Because as I said, it's an invitation that I'm hearing or it's like a need that I'm hearing, is coming from the Projectors and the Projectors-anointed sphere. And I think what's really important, and you and I have talked about it a little bit, is to first, understand what that endeavor entails, energetically and practically. So just because you call something a community doesn't mean it's a community. Kind of the way that I phrased it, is that it's kind of like a tree diagram or like a domino sort of effect. You can put the pieces in place, but it's not necessarily you are micromanaging all of these things and then, "Here, I made a community." That's not how that works. So, I think for Projectors in particular, if that's what we're talking about, it's so important to... First of all, is it just something that you want to do or is it something that's being asked? Like, is it something that you're being invited [crosstalk 00:17:38]? And then can you realistically do it, because it does take... I would say everything takes more time, energy, and effort in the back end than anyone knows.

Naomi Nakamura: Yes. I can attest to that.

Nadia Gabrielle: You know that, right? So can you actually do it? And that's been the thing that sort of has held me back from really going in that direction in the past, because I have to be realistic about what I can take on, energy wise. I run a full-time, really thriving business and I have a finite amount of time and energy. And then there's also personal preference that comes in, and I think you and I have talked about this a bit last time as well, where I will never have a Facebook group. [crosstalk 00:18:25]

Naomi Nakamura: Yeah. Speaking as someone who has tried, if you are a member of Facebook groups, please have deep appreciation for the admins who run it because it takes so much time and energy to. I just have one Instagram account. And for me to even just like write a post takes so much out of me.

Nadia Gabrielle: Oh my God, I don't even know when my last post was. It takes so much work. And then you also have so many other ideas, projects, and offers you want to dedicate your time and energy to. So yeah, for me, what I can say is that when I know that when I do something... I think anyone who's worked with me or taken any of my classes or courses, you will know that when I do something, it will be thought through and I will put everything into it. So you have to really be very clear on, "Is that where I want to channel my energy into?" And we all have a finite amount of energy. But I think with Projectors, with that aura, I think we've talked about it in a previous episode, that kind of focused aura. We want to be very deliberate in terms of where do we pour that in? Because we can't do it halfway. Either we're plugged in or we're not plugged in.

Naomi Nakamura: And that's my current quagmire. From doing this latest round on service design, is that I went through and did a bunch of client interviews. And that's clearly what people are asking for, even though they don't realize that's what they're asking for. And now, I'm at this spot where I'm like, "Can I energetically give to create this thing that they're asking for? And is there a way that I can creatively structure it, so that it meets both our needs?" And I don't know, [crosstalk 00:20:02] but I had to ask.

Nadia Gabrielle: No, I know that there will be. And you can take it a CPO session with you, do a context swap, do another one of the methods. There's always a creative way to figure something out. These are all creative problems or challenges. That's why we did a lot of the design thinking work in [crosstalk 00:20:22]. And yeah, you phrased it perfectly. Like, setting up the structure. So, "What platform am I going to use? Is this user friendly for me? Do I actually want to hang out there and spend time there?"

Naomi Nakamura: Yes.

Nadia Gabrielle: "Do I need someone to help me?" And then what you and I were talking about, also the people who really are there who are in your sphere and who are asking for this, they're going to make up a really important part of that community. So they're going to almost sort of takeover in a way, because you're not going to have the energy to be there 24/7 generating content and conversation. So it's really going to be the quality of the people you have in there, like the first 10 people, first 20 people and see how that goes and have those people sort of run with it. [crosstalk 00:21:14].

Naomi Nakamura: So good. So good. All right. Now, to get to the community questions.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yes.

Naomi Nakamura: Okay. And by the way, we got a lot and so we're not going to able to answer all of them in this episode. We've been talking about doing a follow-up, but we picked the ones that I think that will have the most interest to people listening.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yes. Because listen, one thing I've noticed this time...

So I did the little question box on @Projectorsinvited. And I thought it was really interesting that this time, there were so many relationship questions, more than ever in any Q&A I've done. Usually, I get tons of business by because people know that's my job and that's what I've got my background in, business... And it's quite rare, I suppose, from what I'm hearing at least from my clients, to get really solid business and strategic education or guidance from someone who can weave that together with your specific aura and design. So that's what people usually come to me for. But this time, we've still had some business questions, but really, the majority were about the interpersonal. And it really made me think. Because Naomi, I just told you before we started recording, that the numerology of 2022 for the collective, it's a six year, which is about family, home, and relationships, whether that's romantic or otherwise. They also call it the marriage or divorce year apparently.

Naomi Nakamura: Oh, wow.

Nadia Gabrielle: And it's really about taking responsibility in the interpersonal. And it's really interesting and neat to see that reflected in the questions. And then also for me personally as well. So we have a collective numerological year cycle, and then we have a personal one. And my personal one is also a six. And I can certainly feel that shift and focus towards that in my own life. Yeah, we can-

Naomi Nakamura: And just to clarify, before we answer some of these questions, I am currently not in a relationship. However, and we talked about this, people are people.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yeah.

Naomi Nakamura: And while a lot of these questions are coming to us from the context of romantic relationships, I think based upon the work that I've done and people I've spoken to, people almost lose sight of the fact that Human Design and relationships really transmits to any relationship you have. Whether it be with your parents, your siblings, your friends, your colleagues, your managers, and it can be so transformational when that clicks for you.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yeah. And when you start thinking in terms of these dynamics of... For me, it's aura dynamics, that's how I think of it. Yeah. And we can just start with the first question.

Naomi Nakamura: Yes. Okay. So the first question is, "My husband and I are both Projectors. Can you give us some tips for our relationship?"

Nadia Gabrielle: Yeah. And like Naomi just said, whether that's... Because same as you, I am single, never been married. So I don't know that I'm the most qualified person to give insight on marriage, but what I do understand, is aura and aura mechanics. So we can speak on that and just kind of go with the dynamics of, "Okay. Two Projectors." Do you want to start? Should I?

Naomi Nakamura: Go ahead. Go ahead. I have thoughts, but you start with the aura.

Nadia Gabrielle: I think because right again, as we were saying, the aura, the Projector auras has that arrow shape, and it focuses and it culminates in this one point. So I think that you really want to go back to basics with that and go with your aura and your strategy. So the invitation, which I know everyone's like, "Ugh, I was hoping she was going to say something more spicy." But it's really... Like, these are the things that are going to be your main ROI with any of this work. And when it comes to the invitation, I think of it less as one big one, but really small invitations repeatedly over the course of your lifetime together. Knowing that that's how you're both designed. You're designed to be noticed, to be recognized, to be formally invited. That also gives you insight into your partner and to interact with them. And I remember, I don't know if you remember it, Naomi, there was that one meme I did a couple months ago maybe, on Projector love languages with the Goosebumps meme template. Where like someone was like, "Oh, I feel seen by you." And then you just see all the hairs on their arms stand up. And it was one of the most resonant memes I've posted ever. Everyone was reposting it saying, "This is the kind of..." Like, "Don't send me nudes, send me this." And you can think in terms of that, and you can obviously be more specific to your partner. But what do you truly recognize them for? What do you appreciate in them? And you're two Projectors, so you can go deep, and you don't really have to remain at surface level. You're not going to freak anyone out.

And then the other thing I would do, is look at the centers. With my clients, I do this sometimes. It's one of my favorite things, kind of like an interactive sort of clients session, crafty session, where we do this for someone's entire family. We look at everyone's chart and we come up with principles. So, "How can we love dad best? How can we love daughter so and so best? How can we love mom best?" Based on their chart. And we'll write it all down. So like, "We can love mom by da, da, da." If she has a splenic authority, by just... "If she something, even if it makes no sense to us, we can just accept that and know that it's what makes sense to her. Even if she can't really fully explain it and break down her whole decision making." And we'll write it all down for everyone in the family. And then they hang it on the fridge door-

Naomi Nakamura: Amazing. Amazing. I think you just captured everything that I was going to say. The two things I would say, is that I like to reframe the word invitation with recognition. Because I feel like invitation, it really throws people off, that word. And so, I think you're both Projectors, just recognize that you each need recognition and offer that to each other. And then like you said, beyond that in my readings, I spend a lot of time on each center because our centers determine what our Type is and what our Strategy is. And I think if you want to go that step deeper, look at the different centers that your partner has defined or undefined, and really use that to help understand them, like you said. For someone who has an emotional authority, understand that they're going to need the in between [inaudible 00:27:35] of their ways to be able to make decisions. And maybe they might react a certain way, but they have an emotional center, [inaudible 00:27:43] center. So I think when you have that context, it can help you manage how you react to certain things.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yeah. I think that's amazing advice.

Naomi Nakamura: So, the next question is, "How does the spleen work?"

Nadia Gabrielle: And over to Naomi.

Naomi Nakamura: I was thinking about this, and I feel... First of all, I have a Splenic authority of a Defined Spleen. It's one of the two defined centers that I have. And I was thinking about this and in the order of operations, it's the Solar Plexus first, then it's the Sacral center, and then it's the Spleen. And other people might disagree with me, but I feel like it's so much easier to understand the Emotional Authority and the Sacral Authority because we understand our emotions, right? We all understand that. And with the Sacral Authority, that's something that... It's that gut response, it's this physical feeling in our body, that vibrational response. And the Spleen is kind of hard to explain. [crosstalk 00:28:38]

Nadia Gabrielle: Quiet.

Naomi Nakamura: Exactly. So the Spleen is very quiet. It's also this knowing that can't always be explained, so how am I going to explain how that works? I would just tell you, it is... The only way I can explain it, is that it's your intuition, it's your instincts. And so you really need to trust your instincts. And so when you have that quiet... Some people might say it's a voice, others might just say it's a feeling. When you have that quiet knowing, that's your Spleen. But you have to be really, really in tune for it, to be able to recognize.

Nadia Gabrielle: To make out that-

Naomi Nakamura: That it's coming through. Because if you're not in tune to it, you're not going to recognize it and relate to it. And so with anything else with our authorities, I think you have to know what it's not to be able to have a better understanding of what it is.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yes. Agreed.

Naomi Nakamura: I don't know if that fully answers the question, but that's how I can explain how the Spleen works for me.

Nadia Gabrielle: And also, you have a whole episode on Splenic Authority. [crosstalk 00:29:39]

Naomi Nakamura: I do. And in fact, it was with my Human Design mentor, who's also Splenic Authority. So we really go into that a lot. And I will tag that episode in the show notes.

Nadia Gabrielle: Honestly, for everyone listening, Naomi's archives are so [crosstalk 00:29:54] and varied. Like anything we talk about, she's like, "Oh yeah, I have an episode on this." Like, really go and binge. And take a nice walk and really bookmark the episodes that are important to you and you can learn so much.

Naomi Nakamura: Well, thank you. I think that's my one line where like-

Nadia Gabrielle: Yes.

Naomi Nakamura: I need to get out there deep, before I can talk about other things.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yeah.

Naomi Nakamura: Okay. Third question is, "Any tips for someone who has a Nervous Determination?"

Nadia Gabrielle: Yes. I feel like you know more. I have some thoughts, but you go ahead.

Naomi Nakamura: I don't know if I know more, but these are my thoughts. So, Determination is how we're meant to nourish our bodies, our brains, how we feed ourselves. And the Nervous Determination is one of the tones of Touch, Touch Determination. So Touch is about needing to retreat to get perspective, so stepping away or escapism. And the nervous tone, you have calm and you have nervous, and the nervous is about needing to be stimulated, having your environment stimulated for you to be able to consume and digest. So you need things going on. So maybe when it comes to eating, eat with other people or have distractions going on, or move around while you eat. And Determination is not just in what we eat, but also just how we nourish our brains, how we nourish ourselves.

Nadia Gabrielle: And I think really a key piece to so many of these parts of our chart, but this in particular, is permission again. Permission to do it differently from how you were probably taught, specifically with a nervous touch. Mostly you were probably told like, "Sit down, sit still." But for you, there's going to be a natural busyness as Naomi said, like a moving around, a need for simulation around you. So can you allow for that instead of going, "No, I have to sit down. I have to focus on this one thing." And like, "That's how I was taught at school and that's how my parents [inaudible 00:31:51]." Yeah. You probably had to sit down and be somewhat quiet during a meal depending on your upbringing, but now where you're at, can you allow for experimentation? And you'll see, maybe you'll do better or it's more enjoyable for you to eat. Or even take in other types of input as you move around, and you have some more stimulation around you.

Naomi Nakamura: And as an example, I have a High Sound Determination.

Nadia Gabrielle: Ooh. Yeah.

Naomi Nakamura: And even as a kid, the TV had to be on when we ate and it felt very comfortable. When my mom was like, "It's dinner time, turn off the TV." And I couldn't wait for the meal to end, so I could get out of there.

Nadia Gabrielle: You're like, "I'm out of here."

Naomi Nakamura: Exactly. And even now at home, my TV's always on and I can't even say I'm paying attention to it or even know what channel it's on, but it's just, there's always sound going on.

Nadia Gabrielle: Oh yeah. You could also just be Sicilian, because all my relatives, all my Sicilian grandparents and so on, always had the TV on in the background. I don't think that they all had that determination.

Naomi Nakamura: It's funny. Because most of my cousins and I are the same way, and when one of our moms would be like, "All right, it's time for dinner. Turn off the TV." We'd all looked at her and be like, "We're not that kind of family. What are you talking about?"

Nadia Gabrielle: That's so funny.

Naomi Nakamura: But there was always one mom that said that and we all had to grudgingly sit around the table. I'm like, "Are we just going to sit here and talk about our feelings? We're not [inaudible 00:33:15]."

Nadia Gabrielle: "[crosstalk 00:33:15] Talk about our days? What are you talking about?" That's so funny. I'm like the opposite, I love peace and quiet. I hate any kind of noise around. Again, I think it's more of really a reaction to the really Sicilian, lots of hustle and bustle. There was always so much going on and I kind of just was like, "Ugh, can I just read my book in peace?" Okay. Moving on. These are so not rapid fire, but you guys knew what you were getting with us.

Naomi Nakamura: Whenever you have a podcast, just accept the fact that whoever is on it, brevity is not their strong suit.

Nadia Gabrielle: That is exactly right.

Naomi Nakamura: Okay. Next question. Free discovery calls as a life coach, but I'm just going to say free discovery calls as any coach. I have my opinions on it, but I'd love to hear yours.

Nadia Gabrielle: Okay. We want to hear them all. I've spoken on this a lot. I feel like people have heard me speak about this, because I touch on it a lot. First of all, we're all adults, we can all do whatever we choose. And for some of my clients who are Projectors, this model does work. But for the majority, I find it doesn't. But there's some nuance here with individual charts. I don't know this person's charts. I cannot speak to that specifically. But what I see often, is that doing a free sort of intro call puts you into an aurically undesirable position as a Projector, where I can see... And even in services, [inaudible 00:34:40] we were talking about it. From people who have done that or tried that where I can see many people finding themselves in a space where they need to prove their worth or they feel that they need to prove their worth.

In the end, you design your own space. If you go into it, that energy or not. And it's kind of that energy of, "Okay, I've got like 20 minutes." Or like, "45 minutes." "An hour. And now, I've got to impress the heck out of this person and show them everything I've got and really make them see how valuable my work is and so on." And that is not ideal for your aura mechanics. In my opinion, we want the recognition to happen first. And it's not you out there hustling for recognition. And that's something that we have to consciously design for as business owners. So if you find that it is not working for you, which many of you are, you can choose to not do it. And it's fine. I've never done them. My business works just fine, and so many others as well. They're not a necessity. But if you choose not to do them, you need to design for that in your service structure, in your service blueprint.

You need to design for the absence of this touchpoint. Especially if you find that when you don't do these intro calls, that you don't have a steady stream of amazing clients coming in. Not just sort of so and so clients that you feel, "Eh. Meh." About, but really amazing clients that you're obsessed with. So if not doing the call leaves too large a gap, then there's sort of like a handful of backend processes that need to happen that will take you a few weeks to work out and put into place. And so that you can mitigate and design for that. And again, that's what I teach in Service Design School. Like, you know exactly what I'm talking about. So I would recommend looking into the self-study program.

Naomi Nakamura: I have two thoughts.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yes?

Naomi Nakamura: Having tried this when I very first really got started. Number one, 100%, yes to trying to prove our worth. Number two, if you do not manage the expectation of the session, it's going to be basically the person who you're having a session with, is going to expect free coaching in the session. And as Projectors, as non-sacral beings, we need to be very protective of our energy and manage our energy. And when that has happened to me, all it's done is create bitterness.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yes.

Naomi Nakamura: And we all know as Projectors, what that means when we're bitter, right? That's our not-self.

Nadia Gabrielle: That is amazing.

Naomi Nakamura: Oh, the other thought that I had, was I kind of feel like this whole discovery call strategy came about before social media.

Nadia Gabrielle: Oh, really?

Naomi Nakamura: I don't know, somebody correct me if I'm wrong.

Nadia Gabrielle: I have no idea.

Naomi Nakamura: But I kind of feel like it's kind of an older type of practice, more traditional. And the purpose of the discovery call, is to get to know each other. And I feel like now with the advent of social media, people have the opportunity-

Nadia Gabrielle: [crosstalk 00:37:33] podcast.

Naomi Nakamura: Well, people have the opportunity to get to know us through consuming our social media, through listening to podcasts and they can kind of get an idea if you're meant for them or not.

Nadia Gabrielle: Those are such good points.

Naomi Nakamura: As a coach, if you kind of want to vet your clients and it works for you, I can see how this can be a very valuable tool. On the other hand, you can also vet your clients through pricing.

Nadia Gabrielle: Absolutely. There's so many way-

Naomi Nakamura: There's so many ways.

Nadia Gabrielle: There's a filtering that happens. And also, your first offer that someone pays for doesn't need to be like a half year commitment. You can also vet someone-

Naomi Nakamura: I actually did paid discovery sessions for a little while. Like, very, very-

Nadia Gabrielle: Many of my clients do that. Yeah.

Naomi Nakamura: Yeah. Very nominal amount, but there's that exchange of energy there.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yeah. And like a commitment. There are so many-

Naomi Nakamura: Oh yeah, there's been so many I did where they just don't show, which I'm like, "I set aside this time to have this call with you."

Nadia Gabrielle: You're like, "I could be napping right now."

Naomi Nakamura: Exactly. Exactly.

Nadia Gabrielle: So rude. No, I hate that. I hate that.

Naomi Nakamura: So, that's my personal experience with discovery calls.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yeah. As I've said, I've never done them, but I see it with clients a lot. And that point that you made was so exquisite, because with our energy and with really house holding intelligently with our energy, I only ever see people doing it in the beginning, which makes sense. As I said, for some people, it also really works. Also, I suppose for some people further along that pathway, depending on the rest of their service set up, it might work as well. But there comes a time where you just no longer could even do it, just practically and just energy wise. Because you have your clients that you're working with and you have other things you're doing, and you also have a personal life. So you couldn't even dedicate that time. Yeah, it's really up to each person. You can also try it but aurically, I'm apprehensive.

Naomi Nakamura: I agree. Okay. Next question. How can a Generator and a Projector live their best lives together?

Nadia Gabrielle: Tell me. Tell me, Naomi. Tell us.

Naomi Nakamura: Honestly, I think it's just understanding what that means for each other. Understanding as a Projector, what it means to be with a Generator. And as a Generator, understanding what it means to be a Projector. So again, understanding their aura, understanding what they need. Going and looking at their actual centers and see what's defined, what's not. And literally, just having that awareness of each other and what their needs are and how to best love them. And obviously, that can apply to no matter if it's a Generator or Projector or a Manifestor and a Reflector, whatever it is. Just to have that.

Nadia Gabrielle: I'm just looking at my notes and I wrote down one word for this question, and it's the word restraint. Which hear me out, I know this is already turning some of you off and it's sort of like the original wording that [inaudible 00:40:33] used. So I like to stick with that, but let me explain it. So very specifically for Projectors and Generators because that is a like a key relationship going forward. We've got your two auras. Yours, as the Projector being highly focused as we said before, and piercing and really-

Naomi Nakamura: And non-sacral.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yes, an incredibly intense aura. And then we have the Generator aura, which is more... How would we say it? Cloudlike, is how I describe it sometimes where it's like a big embrace, it's enveloping-

Naomi Nakamura: Enthusiastic?

Nadia Gabrielle: Yes.

Naomi Nakamura: That's kind of what I think of when I think of Generators, who again, have the defined Sacral center. So that in and of itself alone, is understand that your energy management is different.

Nadia Gabrielle: Totally different. So we want to keep that in mind. And we want to keep in mind, even just... I really think in terms of like the shape of the aura. So I really think in terms of a triangle and a circle, so you've got that aura that is super piercing and you've got that trained on your partner. You're going to see and know all sorts of things, it's like x-ray vision. But the thing is, that if they haven't asked for that, if they didn't specifically invite it, that's going to be a bit unwelcome, that kind of-

Naomi Nakamura: Yes.

Nadia Gabrielle: And it can be perceived as quite invasive, which we have all had this. Like, we've all had this done to us and we're like, "Ugh." So, what I like to keep in mind, is that principle of restraint when dealing with a Generator. Or the way that I would personally word it, is like more of a principle of amuse-bouche because I love food. And again, when we come into a situation as Projectors, let's be honest, often we're like, "Yep, yep. Say no more. I know exactly what needs to happen here. Like, I see everything," right? But then again, if no one asks me, then whatever I propose, whatever I say will be... In German, we have this saying, it's [foreign language 00:42:27]. Like, it will fall on deaf ears in English, I think to say that.

Naomi Nakamura: Yes.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yeah?

Naomi Nakamura: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Nadia Gabrielle: So when you think of it in terms more of an amuse-bouche, like a little bite of something that leaves the other person wanting more. So instead of saying everything you've got to say and really overwhelming that person, you just say the first little thing when they've asked for it. And then can digest that and sit with that, and then they can come back and be like, "Hey, about that thing, now I'm here. Like, what would you do? Or can you tell me more?" And then again, you practice a little bit of restraint and you don't go into a three hour monologue, but you give them the next little amuse-bouche. Does that make sense?

Naomi Nakamura: Yes. And as you say that, I keep thinking about how much success will that Projector feel versus giving them the three hour dissertation-

Nadia Gabrielle: And no one's listening.

Naomi Nakamura: And walking away feeling bitter, because it was like talking to a wall.

Nadia Gabrielle: Oh my gosh. And I see this in my own life all the time. Like sometimes, I cannot help myself. Like, we're just human. And I just go all in and I say everything and usually, it's just like I never said it because it goes in one ear and it goes out the other. Because the pathway wasn't clear, like the invitation wasn't there. And I'm sure you've experienced that as well. When someone close to you, all of a sudden, they get into something or they learn about something and they tell you really excitedly. And you're like, "Are you kidding me right now? I've been telling you about this for years." And they're like, "Oh, have you?"

Naomi Nakamura: All the time.

Nadia Gabrielle: And they've never asked for that.

Naomi Nakamura: You've done memes on this.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yes, yes. Honestly. But then they've heard it from another source and it landed, because it was invited or because that pathway was cleared. So that principle, by the way, also really strongly goes for business relationships.

Naomi Nakamura: I was just going to say, can you imagine using that with your colleagues and your manager?

Nadia Gabrielle: And your clients.

Naomi Nakamura: And your clients. No, I have a full-time job as I've [crosstalk 00:44:27], and since learning about Human Design, have really had to learn to exercise restraint. And it's worked well for me, but it's something that as I've learned it, I've actually found I'm able to be a better communicator and also be heard more.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yeah, because you're not just sort of [inaudible 00:44:47] all of that energy in places that it's never going to arrive anyway.

Naomi Nakamura: Okay. We have one more question, and I am so... This is an interesting question. I have thoughts. So the question is, "Can I go to a club where I like the guy very much? I'm a manifest..." Or wait. [inaudible 00:45:07] So is the guy a man, Jen?

Nadia Gabrielle: I would think so, because I asked the-

Naomi Nakamura: I'm going to a club without an... Okay. And so going to a club without the invitation.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yeah.

Naomi Nakamura: So can this person go to a club to see a guy who they like very much-

Nadia Gabrielle: Who's an MG.

Naomi Nakamura: Who's an MG. And going to the club without the invitation. Got it. All right. Your thoughts?

Nadia Gabrielle: No. Your thoughts.

Naomi Nakamura: My thoughts are that you can go anywhere you want to go.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yeah. Do it.

Naomi Nakamura: The thing about Human Design, is it doesn't limit us from anything that we want to do. It gives us insight in how to best approach a situation to have the best outcome that we want for us.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yeah.

Naomi Nakamura: And so go to a club if you want to go to a club. I think the part that you need to maybe spend more time being thoughtful on, is how are you to interact with this person once you get to the club?

Nadia Gabrielle: And what is the energy?

Naomi Nakamura: What is the energy that you're giving off? I also think you can create invitations, but that's a whole other conversation.

Nadia Gabrielle: Oh, interesting. So for the club, I chose this question because we had a lot that I really wanted to go into. I think, yeah, as Naomi said. Like, what is the energy you're going into this with? It's not about going to the club or not. Are you coming from a need of being seen? And like, "Hopefully he'll notice me and hopefully I'll be recognized. And let me position myself, just so it's super easy for him to see me." Because that, I suppose, would be... Let me put it this way, not making the best of your natural aura mechanic. Because the Projector aura is actually very, what's that word? It's really attractive. Like, it attracts people to you. So you don't actually... Any type of sort of orchestrating that we do or as I said, sort of like positioning ourselves like, "Oh, if I do this, then this, and then this," that doesn't really work. So again, yeah, Naomi said it best. You can do whatever you want.

Nadia Gabrielle: But I find that it's best to move in alignment with the aura. As everyone knows with Nadia, it always comes back to the aura. But I do find it that important. But if you can go and you can move from let's say, an energetically full cup and... And this isn't really Human Design advice, it's just Nadia input. Do with it what you will. But I think sometimes, also just being straightforward can be really charming. So I don't know what your situation is with this guy, but if you're face-to-face and you go, "Oh, I'm so glad to see you." Or, "I was hoping I would see you." And then you are being very clear, you're transmitting something very clear. And then you leave it there. Like we said in the previous question, if that's your little amuse-bouche, you've dipped your toe in.

Naomi Nakamura: Well, and also as a Manifesting Generator, he needs something to respond to.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yeah. So you can do that little dipping of the toe, and then he can invite you further or he can choose not to. And you can take your cue from that. It's a dance. With Projectors and energy types, it's a dance. You take one little step, they take one little step. Then, you take your next little step as a reaction to their step. And then sometimes, the dance stops. And then aurically, you don't just keep on dancing because you have no one to dance with anymore here. So the invitation ran out and that's also okay.

Naomi Nakamura: [crosstalk 00:48:18] Your notes here say, "Depends on the energy you're emitting." And that's really it. But really, you can go wherever you want to go. But it really depends on the energy that you are emitting. [crosstalk 00:48:28] And keep in mind, their strategy and your strategy. The fact that you already know what his design is, gives you a lot of [inaudible 00:48:33] into how you can approach the situation.

Nadia Gabrielle: I love that. Here we are-

Naomi Nakamura: Dating for Projectors.

Nadia Gabrielle: Naomi, I forgot to mention that this was my question. I'm just kidding. But this could be me, because I also look up everyone. But yes. Worst case scenario, you end up a little bit bitter. Okay. That's okay. Then, you learn for next time. If you want to keep us posted, we're invested now.

Naomi Nakamura: Yes.

Nadia Gabrielle: [crosstalk 00:49:00]. Keep us posted on this budding romance with this MG guy. We'd like to be updated.

Naomi Nakamura: Please do. Unfortunately, I think that's all that we have time for today.

Nadia Gabrielle: This was it.

Naomi Nakamura: This was it. But like I said, we have so many questions that some of them, honestly, I would love to dive further in with you. So like I said, you always have an open invitation. I know we talked about grinding as Projectors, so if that's something you want to do, I'm open to.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yes, I do. I wrote my thesis on brand [crosstalk 00:49:29] something. So you know I have a lot to say-

Naomi Nakamura: I want to hear it all.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yes. And if anyone listening has more questions, especially if we're going in the branding direction, ask them.

Naomi Nakamura: Yes. And we will get recording sessions scheduled. But I don't know. For me, I really look to my variables to help me with [crosstalk 00:49:50], but we can get all into that.

Nadia Gabrielle: Ooh yeah, we'll need to get into that. I can't wait to hear.

Naomi Nakamura: Well, before we close it out, remind people again how they can connect with you.

Nadia Gabrielle: I'm on nadiagabrielle.com and Projectorsinvited.com. And then on Instagram, I'm @_nadiagabrielle and also @Projectorsinvited. And I have newsletters on both of these platforms. So I have my personal one and the Projectors invited one. And that's it. That's a lot. That's enough for one person.

Naomi Nakamura: It's a lot. I will link to those in the show notes, along with the past two episodes that you were on. I say Episode 201 was this so widely received. But I got to tell you, the first time you were on talking about Subconscious Capacity Building, I have sent so many people to listen to that.

Nadia Gabrielle: Oh, I'm so glad.

Naomi Nakamura: And that is powerful stuff.

Nadia Gabrielle: I always get messages from people just sort of DMS popping up. They're like, "I just listened to your episode with Naomi on capacity. It was so good." I'm like, "Oh."

Naomi Nakamura: So good. So good. If you want to know why affirmations aren't working for you, go listen to that episode.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yes. Yes. It's kind of like the foundational episode for everything else that I talk about.

Naomi Nakamura: It really is.

Nadia Gabrielle: Building capacity for life.

Naomi Nakamura: Well, my friend, thank you so much for joining me.

Nadia Gabrielle: Thank you. Thank you for having me.

Naomi Nakamura: I always enjoy our conversations. Like I said, you have an open invitation whenever you want to come on-

Nadia Gabrielle: I appreciate it so much.

Naomi Nakamura: And we'll get started on that next episode that we just came up with.

Nadia Gabrielle: Yes.

Naomi Nakamura: Thank you.

Nadia Gabrielle: Thank you.

Naomi Nakamura is a Health x Human Design coach who’s creating a healthier society through aligned energy.

She blends a bespoke mix of Functional Nutrition and Human Design to help others shift into alignment to leverage and correctly manage their energy to support their body, mind, and spirit.

She believes that when we embrace our authenticity and lean into our bio-individuality, we naturally live a life of freedom, empowerment, and optimal health.

Naomi resides in the San Francisco Bay Area and can often be found exploring the area with her puppy girl, Coco Pop!

Connect with Naomi on: Instagram | Pinterest

Naomi Nakamura

http://www.livefablife.com
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Episode 218: Human Design and Boundaries
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