Episode 189: Reflections on Growing Up As A Projector Surrounded by Generators & Manifesting Generators
Hindsight is 20/20. Join me in this retrospective episode as I take a trip down memory lane.
Since learning that my Human Design Type is a Projector and everyone in my inner sphere, especially during my formative years, are Generators and Manifesting Generators, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on how all that Sacral energy influenced me.
I divulge mindsets and perspectives that were instilled in me from a young age and how ruminate on how they served and didn’t serve me.
And I share ways that I’ve been restructuring my routines and day-to-day life to lean into my design to find more ease and less friction.
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“Learning that Projectors need to be cautious about energy management and protect our energy by embracing rest, well, I could see why I always felt tired. Why I always felt like I couldn’t keep up with other people, especially those closest to me. ”
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Hello, my friend and welcome back to The Live Fab Life Podcast. I'm your host Naomi Nakamura, and today I’m going to dive a little bit more into Human Design Types and Strategies sharing some personal reflections and “a-ha” moments I’ve had in learning my own Type and Strategy.
If you’re unfamiliar with Human Design Types and Strategies, pause this episode and go listen to Episodes 182 and 183, and then come back to this one, as it’ll give you context into what I’m sharing today.
These reflections you’re about to hear me share have shown me how I’ve been influenced by the Types and Strategies of those closest to me. You could even say, it’s shown me ways that I’ve been conditioned, particularly in how structured my day-to-day life, work, and approach to productivity.
I grew up in a very achievement-focused family. Every day before school I was told to “be the best.” And to be clear, there’s nothing wrong with wanting that, but for me, it felt like a lot of pressure. Pressure to do more than everyone else, and that there’s no rest for the weary.
Both my parents, one who is a Generator and another who’s a Manifesting Generator had their Franklin Planners and were very task-oriented to get as much done as possible. They both worked and were involved in a lot of church activities, in addition to family responsibilities – and they got a lot of things done on a fairly regular basis.
Seeing both of my parents operate that way taught me that I needed to multi-task and push through to get as much as possible done on a regular basis. That by working harder, I’d accomplish more.
I grew to develop the mentality to keep going and never let up.
In elementary school, that mentality drove me to win my 2nd-grade Read-a-thon – second place wasn’t even close to me.
In college, it drove me to take multiple 18-credit semesters.
In my first job out of college, I must’ve been 21 or 22 years old, there were many Friday nights that I was in the office at 8 am and worked until 10 or 11 pm - on a Friday night! I was still living with roommates back then and I remember coming home late on Friday nights when my roommates were watching a movie, and when I walked in the door they were like, “Where have you been?!” because back then, gosh, this was in the mid-’90s, so cell phones weren't a thing, and text messaging definitely wasn't a thing. My roommates thought that I was out, but I was at work - till late on a Friday night. Totally normal, no big deal, right?
I did it because felt pressured that I needed to get things done, that I needed to check things off my to-do list, no matter how long it took, no matter the cost.
That same mentality carried over into when I adopted a healthier lifestyle, especially when it came to working out.
Again, Friday afternoon I’d be in the office bathroom changing into workout clothes while my coworkers were getting ready to go to happy hour. I was getting ready to put in a 2-hour workout at the gym.
I remember my colleagues asking, “Are you really going to the gym on a Friday evening?!”
Then when I got into endurance training for long-distance events, the mentality of pushing through pain, exhaustion, doing more became more and more ingrained.
Doing 5K's wasn’t enough so I ran 10k’s. Then I needed to run half marathons. Then I needed to push for more, so I trained for marathons. And to be clear, doing those things isn’t bad – doing them as often and obsessively as I did wasn't appropriate for my Human Design as a Projector.
So, I was an energizer bunny in how I approached my studies, my work, my extracurricular activities, my hobbies, and in hindsight, there were some consistencies in the impact that it had, most predominantly when it came to how I slept.
Even as a kid, I was never a good sleeper, often having disrupted sleep. I was the kid that was up before 6 am every day, even on the weekends. In fact, I remember my parents telling me that I wasn’t allowed to bother them or wake them up before, like before 6 or 7 am. Come to think about it, I was the only one in my family who has had sleep problems – which will make sense in a bit.
So, I was the kid who watched Smurfs and Battlestar Galactica at 6 am on Saturday morning because I have never been able to sleep in. Don’t get me wrong, I felt tired quite a bit, but couldn’t feel rested.
As a result of that, among other things, I always felt like I was playing catch up.
As much as I tried to multi-task and put in long hours into whatever I did, it never quite felt like it was enough, that I was able to catch up to everyone else. I can see how that affected my confidence and self-esteem, particularly when comparing myself to others.
And while this is something I recognized in myself for several years now and have spent a lot of time working on it, it wasn’t until I learned about Human Design, and about my Human Design, was I able to understand why I was the way that I was.
Finding out that I’m a Projector and learning about Projectors validated a lot of my past experiences and put them into context where I could look back and think, “Oh, it's no wonder I was this way, or, it's no wonder I reacted or responded to this person or situation this way”, particularly when learning that Projectors are here to not necessarily work harder, but to work smarter and to show people there are different, more efficient ways of doing things. This is something that I’ve been recognized for doing by colleagues and managers, subconsciously I might add.
So, while it did validate a lot of things, especially that aspect, also learning that Projectors need to be cautious about energy management and protect our energy by embracing rest, well, I could see why I was always feeling tired. Why I always felt like I couldn’t keep up with other people, especially those closest to me.
But learning about Projectors also brought a fair amount of surprise to me. I was always led to believe that multitasking was a good thing. Admittedly, I haven’t written a resume in over 14 years, when I did, in the part where you describe yourself and your qualities, I always wrote something like, “Great at multi-tasking.” I mean, isn’t it one of the things that makes a candidate attractive on a resume? My friends who are hiring managers tell me it’s something that they look for, but seriously, is it meant for everyone?
Spoiler alert: no, it’s not meant for everyone, Projectors included. It’s one of the things that, as I learned about Projectors made me go, “Hmmm….” You know, it’s one of those things that, now when you look at everything through the lens of Human Design totally makes sense, but then you think, “Why did I think that multitasking was a great thing, to begin with? Where did that idea come to me from?”
Multitasking is fine for some people, like Manifesting Generators, but for others, especially those of us who need to be more cautious of energy management than others, not so much.
As I continued to dig more into being a Projector another thing that stuck out for me, and again, if you are curious about this go back and listen to Episode 182 where I talk specifically about Projectors and Reflectors, the one thing about being a Projector that stuck out at me was that we Projectors really need to welcome and embrace rest.
As you can imagine, when you’ve been taught your whole life to push, push, push like an energizer bunny, rest, as simple as it is, is a really hard thing to embrace, because it means slowing down. It means taking the time to rest and spending less time getting things done.
For someone who’s focused on productivity, I mean I can't tell you how much the Instagram ads for new planners, school supplies, journals make my heart skip a beat, going from trying to maximize every minute of my day productively to allowing for rest and relaxation – it’s a total mindset shift. And we know that mindset shifts aren’t easy. But I’ve welcomed the opportunity to try something new, and over the past year that I’ve experimented with this, it really has had a positive impact on my overall productivity and effectiveness.
By doing less, I'm actually doing more
In fact, I’d say the one thing that I've, I've taken away from this experiment of leaning into my Human Design Type as a Projector - by doing less, I do more.
Now, when you're new to Human Design, it's a natural inclination to find out the Human Designs of everyone that you know - especially those closest to you - your family, friends, colleagues – I mean that’s what I did!
I asked my parents, sibling, cousins, friends, “Hey, what’s your birthplace and birth time?”
Of course, I got, “Why are you asking me this?” but luckily, they decided to humor me, and I was able to get that information.
And what did I find? That every single person in my immediate family, my closest extended family members, and closest friends - they are ALL Generators and Manifesting Generators! I’d say about 11 out of 12 people who have been closest to me at various times in my life were all Sacral beings. And if you want to learn about more Generators, Manifesting Generators, and Sacral beings, listen to Episode 183.
And this is the crux, the point of this episode because I believe that being surrounded by Generators and Manifesting Generators for most of my life has been a significant factor in my conditioning around living life as an energizer bunny!
Generators and Manifesting Generators have so much sustainable energy than someone who is a non-Sacral being like a Projector, Reflector, or even a Manifester.
Imagine not having this sustainable Sacral energy but being surrounded by it and feeling the pressure to keep up with it. To try to multi-task and take on a lot of things – at once, but literally not having the energy to do so. It’s exhausting and keeping this up for a prolonged period of time – well no wonder I had adrenal burnout, which has had a cascading effect on other parts of my health.
Now, I can see how I was “programmed,” for lack of a better word, that sounds so terrible, but I was “programmed” to operate as a Manifesting Generator and Generator because that's all I was exposed to!
Beyond my immediate spheres of influence, much of the society that we live in is a very Generator / Manifesting Generator mindset, especially in the tech industry where I’ve worked for over 20 years.
In hindsight, now I can see how it really formulated my expectations of what I deemed to be acceptable in terms of productivity, how I work, and how I show up. To me, somehow, along the way, I equated resting to laziness.
So, can you see how we can unconsciously and unintentionally be influenced to behave and believe in ways that aren’t in line with our Human Design, in this case, Type and Strategy?
I haven’t even touched much on Strategy, but if you've listened to Episodes 182 and 183, then you know that the Strategy for Projectors is to “Wait for the Invitation” – wait to be invited, wait for opportunities to open themselves to me.
Whereas the Strategy for Manifesting Generators and Generators are to “Wait to Respond,” so they don't need to wait for an invitation, rather they need to wait for something to happen for them to then respond to it.
In hindsight, I can recall the situations in which I tried to will things to happen or acted without any invitations, which fell flat and left me feeling bitter.
Because action without invitations isn’t in alignment for Projectors.
Situations where I found success were when I was offered a job, or I was invited to participate in something, or I was invited to share something, as opposed to me cold-calling or giving unsolicited advice.
But being exposed to Generators and Manifesting Generators, where invitations aren’t necessary, I tried to do things like them, and they didn’t work out. They resulted in disappointment and bitterness.
Now, experimenting with my Strategy over the past year and a half, I've experimented and witnessed that the most fruitful, successful experiences were the ones where invitations were extended to me.
And when I gave unsolicited advice, the desired result did not come to fruition.
Now, understanding that I’m a Projector, understanding what that means, and experimenting with it, it’s changed how I approach my work, how I structure my day, how I communicate with and relate to others – family, friends, colleagues for the better.
I'm fortunate to work from home and because I work a lot with people on the East Coast or internationally, while my days do tend to start early, which works for me because as I’ve shared, I'm naturally an early riser, but that leaves my afternoons fairly quiet and with that comes the chance to steal a power nap here and there from time-to-time.
This alone has helped my energy levels and taught me that welcoming rest is a good thing – by doing less, I actually do more. I have more energy to do the things that I need to do with more enthusiasm, and in more effective ways that yield better results.
It’s taught me to be more strategic in what I take on and what I commit to.
Prior to this, I’d rarely say no to anyone or anyone, not because I didn’t know how to say “no,” but rather, the belief that I could do anything at any time, at any place.
Now I'm learning how to accept that I can't do anything and everything. I do have limitations, and I need to manage my energy.
So now, I'm learning to say, “No, that's not something I want to or can commit to,” even if it’s something that I'm really interested in.
I’m retraining my thought patterns to acknowledge the amount of time and energy, and not just physical but also mental energy, that I don’t have to give. I’m learning to say no – that, “While I really do want to take this on, it's just not the time for me right now.”
I’m learning how to be more strategic in what I take on and how I structure my day, and I literally schedule in rest.
I hate using words like, “flow” and “ease” because it can sound flimsy, and perhaps this is another conditioning on my end, but the reality is, life has felt like it’s flowing with more ease. Things have felt a lot easier.
There's less friction. I feel less like I'm fighting against something, and more like, I'm just moving along inflow.
And this is really how learning and leaning into not only my Type and Strategy but also those who have been most influential on me, has helped me learn how to better manage my stress, minimize fatigue and burnout.
I felt compelled to share this with you because it’s been a really huge “a-ha” learning for me. It’s been eye-opening.
And so I encourage you, that if you are able to, first of all, if you don't already know it, find out your Human Design Type and Strategy, and then of those closest to it and then observe and evaluate:
Are you interacting with them in a way that’s optimal for both of you according to your respective designs? How have their designs influenced you, and yours influenced them? What changes can you make in your day-to-day that can bring more ease and flow and less friction, and ultimately, better manage your energy more effectively? So that's it for this episode. I love sharing these personal insights and anecdotes that’s helped me redesign my life with intention, according to my Human Design.
As always, thank you so much for listening. I appreciate your time and your attention, and I'll see you right back here again next week. Bye for now!
Naomi Nakamura is a Health x Human Design coach who’s creating a healthier society through aligned energy.
She blends a bespoke mix of Functional Nutrition and Human Design to help others shift into alignment to leverage and correctly manage their energy to support their body, mind, and spirit.
She believes that when we embrace our authenticity and lean into our bio-individuality, we naturally live a life of freedom, empowerment, and optimal health.
Naomi resides in the San Francisco Bay Area and can often be found exploring the area with her puppy girl, Coco Pop!
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