Episode 135: Giving Yourself Grace Through the Ebbs and Flows of Life & Health
In this week’s episode, we:
Explore the dangers of perfectionism when it comes to healthy living
Examine how we came to form our perceptions on what perfect health
Why ebbs and flows of health are to be expected and showing yourself grace through it…especially during a pandemic!
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“It is unrealistic to think that you can “be healthy” 100% of the time. We’re human and that perfectionistic way of thinking is toxic.”
Read the Episode Transcript:
Hello my friend, and welcome back to The Live FAB Life Podcast! I’m your host, Naomi Nakamura and I’m so happy to be back here with you this week!
In the last episode, Episode 134, we talked about doing a self-audit to see if how we perceive ourselves to be living day-to-day matches the reality of how we’re actually living, and if our actions support our intentions. Are we living how we actually want to live? Or, are we perceiving that we’re living that way when in fact our daily actions don’t align with it?
If, through a self-audit, you find that you’ve fallen away from daily practices that support your ideal healthy lifestyle, then perhaps its time to revisit what the basics of a healthy lifestyle are. Then, simplify, back things up, and put those habits back into practice - you have to be able to walk before you can run.
And this is true even if you’ve run before!
I’ve trained for many marathons, but I’ve taken extended time off from running - we’re talking years. So even though I’ve been in top running shape before, there is no way I can go out and running a marathon, much less a 5k today! I’d need to back things up, go back to starts and start from scratch.
The same can be said if you’ve found, through your self-audit, that your reality doesn’t match your perception.
And if it doesn’t, that’s okay! And that’s what I want to talk about today - the ebbs and flows of health.
It is unrealistic to think that you can “be healthy” 100% of the time. We’re human and that perfectionistic way of thinking is toxic.
I know this because I spent YEARS stuck in that mindset. It was an exhausting, degrading and neverending pursuit of perfection that really, was my way of coping with anxiety and the need for control.
It was just another way of being stuck in a “need to / have to” mindset.
So let’s spend a few minutes talking about this today because I know so many of us, especially those of us who have Type A tendencies, to berate and beat ourselves up when we think we’re not living up to the unrealistic expectations we set for ourselves.
I know what it’s like to feel the self-imposed pressure to never miss a workout. Or feel like its the end of the world if I have a cookie. That kind of angst and self-loathing is toxic and tortuous for the your mind, body, and spirit!
If this is where you find yourself, it’s time to give yourself some grace.
Where did your idea or this picture of what healthy living comes from? How did you come to create and formulate this perception?
Was it from a magazine or news article? From social media? From a parent or someone of authority? Or someone you looked up to?
Spend some time thinking about this - you may even feel compelled to journal about it. Because, as I’ve talked about before, and will continue to talk about over and over again, this is no such thing as perfection when it comes to a healthy lifestyle.
Healthy living is going to look different for each one of us, because we are all such different people - genetically, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, geographically.
So to hold yourself to an impossible, unrealistic standard, that may not be even right for you, is the exact opposite of what you’re trying to achieve. There’s nothing “healthy” about this.
Now, why am I talking about this?
Well, at the time of the recording of this episode, it’s the end of July 2020, and we’re wrapping up the fourth month, going into the fifth month of having our entire lives, and the entire world (!) turned upside down by COVID.
And there is no definitive timeline of when this pandemic will end.
NO ONE knows or can predict, when that will be.
Now, I don’t know about you, but my self-audit has made me realize how I’ve developed some really fantastic daily habits during this time; habits that have helped me learn and grow in deeper ways than I’ve ever expected or imagined. I’ve made huge strides in self-growth that I don’t believe would have come, at least not as easily, had it not been for this pandemic where we were all forced to stay home and slow down.
But my self-audit equally forced me to take note of how some things, some of my daily habits have slipped, and not in the best direction.
Last year I shared a little bit about how I started tracking macros. After spending so many years in healing mode, I felt like I was in a place where I was feeling good, and well, where my goals shifted from healing to how I’d like to drop a few pounds my body just didn’t feel as strong carrying the extra weight I’d put on over the past couple of years.
Side note: this is a topic that needs an entire episode in and of itself, which I’ll save for another time.
But anyway, I talked about tracking macros in Episode 106 which came out last November.
Being that it was right before the holidays, I very, very slowly eased back into tracking macros. It wasn’t until this past January, that I got more serious about it and even I started working with a macros coach.
For those first several weeks, I really committed to consistently following my macros plan and I saw results! In those first few weeks I’d dropped 10 pounds!
But then in mid-March, the pandemic arrived and every aspect of our lives was disrupted and flipped upside down.
While I’d already been working from home, and a self-admitted homebody, being stuck at home, sheltering-in-place, and not having the OPTION to go about was still a challenging thing to adjust to.
And, it found me reaching for all the kinds of treats I normally wouldn’t have.
While I stuck to my non-negotiables - always gluten-free, dairy-free, and free of hydrogenated oils, I still found myself eating one too many Simple Mills crispy mini chocolate chip cookies. Adding So Delicious Mocha Fudge bars to my grocery deliveries. Ordering chicken chips and Siete grain-free tortilla chips by the case. And who knows what else.
Friends - this not normal behavior for me!
Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve always allowed myself to enjoy such treats every now and then, in small doses.
But man, when we went into quarantine, it was no holds barred.
And as you can imagine, my macros plan went out the window.
My weekly check-ins with my coach were nothing to be proud of. And bless her heart, she was so supportive and understanding, but always encouraging - that’s the beauty of having a coach.
But you know what, I’m okay with what happened during those first few months of the pandemic because this is the first time, at least in my generation, and in my parents’ generation that we, as a society, have ever had to live through a pandemic.
It’s hard. It’s emotionally-draining. It’s scary.
And that’s not even including all the dissension around how to live and manage in a pandemic. As if anyone, other than the professionals who have studied and trained for this type of thing, has any experience in how to live and to manage a pandemic. So I’ve given myself grace - if this helped me get through this unprecedented time, well I’m not going to beat myself up about it.
Why? Because I still ate healthy, real food meals and stuck to my non-negotiables.
I explored other areas of my well-being and nurtured them, through weekly acupuncture tele-visits, joining and participating weekly in a meditation community, finding my inner athlete again by learning how to adapt to home workouts, and then, really embracing it. After years of struggling, it’s helped me bring daily workouts back into habit again. And then, weekly guided embodiment guidance sessions and turning inward to address long-standing pain that I’ve held in my body, examine perceptions and their origins, and release and shift some deeply embedded mindsets, specifically around a “need to / have to” mindset, that didn’t serve it. And of course, how all these things are interconnected together.
So if I indulged in some gluten-free, dairy-free sweet and salty treats, then so be it.
The beauty of this life is that we have the choice to reset and start again tomorrow, or even right now in this very minute if you want to.
I think that’s one of the best gifts of self-care - having grace with yourself.
Allowing yourself the chance to veer off course, every now and then.
And then, if you choose to, get back on the course that you set for yourself. You get to decide what’s right for you, but learn and develop the skills to know and recognize - that awareness to know what that looks like for you.
There is no right or wrong answer here, it really comes down to - what are your intentions, do your actions support your intentions, and then having grace and allowing yourself to learn by trial and error.
I think when we learn by trial and error, the lessons resonate more and are that much more impactful.
This is not only the ebbs and flows of health but really, the ebbs and flows of life.
Now I’d love to hear from you.
Have you done your self-audit yet?
Have you found yourself doing or consuming things during pandemic life that you normally wouldn’t have in pre-pandemic life?
How have you reacted and responded to it?
And where are you now with all of it?
Come on over and let’s having a correspondence on this. Leave a comment on the show notes for this episode at www.livefablife.com/135, or come find me on Instagram at @livefablifewithnaomi.
That’s it for now, as always, thank you so much for being here. After taking a month off from the show, I’m truly enjoying being back and bringing you new episodes.
If there’s a topic that we haven’t yet discussed on the show or one that we have that you’d like for it to be expanded upon me, reach and let me know!
I’ll see you right back here again next week! Bye!
Naomi Nakamura is a Functional Nutrition Health Coach. She helps passionate, ambitious high-achievers who are being dragged down by fatigue, burnout, sugar cravings, poor sleep, unexplained weight issues, and hormonal challenges optimize health, find balance, and upgrade their energy so they can do big things in this world.
Through her weekly show, The Live FAB Live Podcast, programs, coaching, and services, she teaches women how to optimize their diet, support their gut health, reduce their toxic load, and improve their productivity, bringing work + wellness together.
Naomi resides in the San Francisco Bay Area and can often be found exploring the area with her puppy girl, Coco Pop!
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