Episode 115: What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?
What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
As women, we spend so much time living in fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of being judged and of what others might think, fear of not having or being enough, fear of failure.
But what could happen if we release those fears? What’s possible for you, if you weren’t afraid? What would you do? How far would you let yourself dream?
In this episode I explore:
How living in fear holds us back and limits us from reaching our potential
What happens if we don’t release our fears
What’s possible if, instead of giving what we fear power over us, we let our drive to pursue our dreams outweigh it
And I even share a personal story and my best tips of how to work through fear and stop being afraid.
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“Allow yourself the chance to explore. Be open to trying new things. Try things that feel scary. Once you get past that initial fear, the next attempt won’t feel so insurmountable. Slowly but surely, you’ll start to remove the limitations that you’ve set on yourself. And the possibilities will start to feel limitless.”
Read the Episode Transcript:
About 18 years ago, I was working for a tech company, managing a technical training program. This was before online learning was a thing so I managed instructor-led trainings where we had to ship training equipment and materials around the world.
During that time, I was VERY unhappy with my work and my performance reflected it.
Also during that time, my manager decided it was time to shift into eLearning, which meant a shift in how we operated which would mean significant changes in the nature of my job and my daily responsibilities.
Knowing how unhappy I was, she gave me the opportunity to find work elsewhere, or basically shift my attitude and get reengaged with my work.
Ultimately I decided to stay and continue but it was a wakeup call to me that I felt so unfulfilled by my work, that it wasn’t meaningful or impactful. I felt empty. And the fact that work takes up a significant portion of our lives, meant that this void I felt was heavy.
Unfortunately for me, I didn’t know what kind of work would feel meaningful or impactful to me. I didn’t know what I could do to feel like I was making a difference. I didn’t even know what kind of difference I wanted to make.
And that began about a 12-year journey into figuring out what it is I wanted to do. How I could contribute to the world in a way that made me feel fulfilled, that would also make a difference for someone else.
The fact that you’re listening to the episode is a major spoiler alert that the work that I’m doing now as a health coach and the different things that come under that umbrella, hosting this podcast, being a Beautycounter consultant - all these things are what lights me up and fulfills that void that I had been feeling.
I’m passionate about what I do and in turn, that’s created actually a deeper appreciation for the work that I’m still doing in my full-time corporate job. Granted, I’m with a different company and working in a different function of the business, but as a program manager, the nature of my work is more or less the same.
The road to doing the kind of work I do in my side hustle wasn’t easy. It still isn’t easy. It requires so much of digging deep into who I am, putting myself out there in ways that feel vulnerable and scary. In the beginning, this fear held me back from doing so much that I knew I was capable of. I mean it took me a good two years, at least to even launch this show.
But I knew I had to take risks and get out of my comfort zone, to get to where I wanted to be. So I did it and learned that what I was afraid of, wasn’t so scary after all.
Today there are still things I want to do that I’m scared to do, but I continue to do deep work to work through the fear so I can continue to make forward progress toward my dreams and goals because they far outweigh the fear that I feel. In other words, I refuse to let my fears hold me back from creating the life that I want for myself.
So let me ask you this question: What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
Are you satisfied with your job and the work that you do Monday to Friday, day in, day out?
Or are you one of the millions who feel the Sunday night dread and complain about it week after week?
Are you happy with how you’re showing up in your life and in the world?
Are you content with your health and well-being and how you feel every day?
If you’re not, what’s holding you back from going after whatever it is that you want?
Do you even know what you want? Have you even allowed yourself to entertain thoughts of what those dreams and aspirations might be? Or have you squashed them because you just can’t see them happening and you’ve accepted the life you perhaps feel stuck in?
But let me ask you this - how do you even know what’s possible if you don’t even let yourself try?
Think about it - if you were going after your dreams, allowing that motivation and passion to be let loose, can you even imagine all that you could accomplish?
How much better would your life be? How much happier would you feel? And as a result of that, how much happier would everyone else in your life feel if you were happier and fulfilled?
For context, because context is always important, this episode came about because I see a trend, especially in women.
After years of coaching women, I see a common trend that’s really at the crux of the stressors that we’re burdened with that ultimately impact our health and wellness - and that’s that so many women live in fear, afraid of going after what it is they really want.
They sell themselves short thinking, “what could I bring to the table?” They hold themselves back from reaching their full potential.
They live in fear, get in their own way and this my friend is having a scarcity mindset.
How many times have you wanted to:
Try something new that you’ve never done before, but you didn’t because you just don’t think you’re capable of doing it? Workout at a gym but you don’t’ because you don’t want other people looking at you (guess what, 95% of the time they’re not) Try a different way of eating, say something like the 21-Day Sugar Detox but you write yourself off thinking, “I could never do that” so you don’t even try Want to switch jobs, or even switch careers but you don’t think you have anything to bring to the table that someone else isn’t already doing. or you feel trapped by your current life situation that you just don’t see it happening. Or, after years and years of schooling, the job, or career that you academically pursued no longer serves you, but you’ve invested too much time and too much money into it to pivot and do something else lights you up instead. Want to travel somewhere or try a restaurant but you don’t want to go alone. Or do something that really lights you up but it seems too good to be true so you self-sabotage it?
So you settle for whatever situation it is that you’re in now. Suffering and feeling like you a part of you is dying, little-by-little, day-by-day.
Until eventually, that Sunday night dread is what you feel every day - all the time.
And before you know it, years have passed by. You look around and realize that you didn’t mean for your life to end up this way. In your youth, you had the best of intentions, yet somehow, now, you’re life is operating on autopilot.
If you’re really honest with yourself, take a step back and look at the big picture, you see that you’re not fully experiencing life and really, the human experience in the way we’re meant to.
Along the way, you might have turned to mindful practices like yoga, exercise, and meditation as a means to fulfill this void, it’s not enough.
Deep down you know you’re unfocused, unsettled, unfulfilled but your daily life demands and your fears, hold you back.
I mean, it’s not like you can just quit your job and do what you whatever it is that you to do - you have bills to pay, a family to support, people who depend on you. You can’t take risks, not knowing what the outcome will be. So you settle for steadiness and stability.
But again, what would you do if you didn’t have all those fears and apprehensions?
What would be possible if you didn’t have these things that are holding you back from doing what you really want to do? If you didn’t hold yourself back from reaching your full potential?
This is kinda a deep topic, I know and if this is the first time you’re allowing yourself to entertain these thoughts, then my friend, this could be your beginning of a very long journey into your self-discovery and personal development.
Like I said, mine started back in 2003 with that shift in my job. And I didn’t start to take action until I enrolled in nutrition school back in 2015.
But during those years in between, I spent a lot of time searching for what it was that I needed to feel fulfilled, to feel like I was making a meaningful contribution to the world and doing something that sparked the passion and energy in me.
But once I did, that’s when the fear really started to sink in, like OMG I have to let myself be vulnerable and put myself out there. It is not easy, but it is very normal to feel this.
So if you’re still listening, and can relate to any of this, here’s some steps that you can take to help you first, figure out what it is your dreams are, and then how to get past the fear and do it anyway.
1 | Identify what’s standing in your way.
What are the obstacles that you’re facing? What things need to be confronted but are currently being avoided? Like your diet, or healthy habits? Like a micro-managing manager? Or a relationship, romantic or otherwise. Or your finances.
These are HARD things to have to face and deal with. But if they aren’t confronted, you’ll eventually get to the point where you feel trapped and resentful and nothing good ever comes out of feeling that way.
2 | Ask yourself why you feel afraid
After you’ve identified what’s standing in your way, ask yourself, why do you feel this way about it? What’s contributing to that fear? What triggers it?
And is it worth the power you’re giving it? What do I mean by this?
Let’s say for example, you have been suffering from really bad acne for a long time. It makes you feel self-conscious, clearly affecting your self-esteem. Instead of shining, you hide yourself away from the world.
You would do anything for clear skin. You know that sugar and dairy is a trigger for acne, but you’re too afraid to give it up. You don’t want to be “one of those people” who seems so high maintenance about their food. You don’t want to give up cheese or feel deprived.
My friend, first of all, you’re already living a deprived life by denying yourself of your true desires. Secondly, are you really going to give sugar and dairy that much power over yourself - how you feel about yourself and how you show up in this world?
3 | Imagine what life would be like if your dreams fulfilled
If there weren’t anyone to judge you or weren’t other expectations that you feel you needed to meet, what would you be doing with your life right now?
I want you to pull out a piece of paper and write down all the things you would be doing if you weren’t afraid to do them. If you weren’t afraid of being judged. If you weren’t afraid of letting other people down. If you weren’t afraid of failure.
4 | Evaluate what the delta is between where you are now and where you want to be
You made your list, you’ve identified your fears and what holds you back. I’d say, you’ve allowed yourself to meet your authentic self. How is that person different from the person you are now?
If there’s glaring differences, you myself, are not in alignment with your truth. So how do you get in alignment. There’s a lot of things you can do, and I really recommend checking out the work of Gabby Bernstein. She speaks a lot about alignment and coming into your truth.
But for today, set a few small goals for yourself that you can accomplish every week. It can seem so small but really would be a big deal in becoming your authentic self. It would be forward progress in the direction that you want to go.
5 | Celebrate your milestones
Every week, or heck, every day, check-in with yourself to see what kind of progress you’ve made and celebrate it. Every step is meaningful!
Share it with someone - a trusted friend or loved one. Whatever feels like a celebration - do it. This will keep you motivated to keep moving forward!
A journey in self-discovery like this is not easy. It’s not something that will happen overnight, that’s for sure.
But if your desires are deep enough to outweigh the fear, think of what’s possible.
Allow yourself the chance to explore and be open to trying new things. This kind of honesty is healthy. And once you get past that first fear, the next one won’t feel so insurmountable and slowly but surely, you’ll start to remove the limitations that you’ve set for yourself and your dreams will feel possible, and the possibilities will start to feel limitless.
I see far too many women stuck in their fear and I’ve been wanting, almost needing, to get this out and boy, it feels good!
Next week, and over the course of the year, I’ll be bring your episodes with guests who have gone on a similar journey of self-discovery, who will be sharing their stories with you. More real people episodes to come!
As always, thank you for your time. I don’t take the time and attention you give me lightly. I’m so thankful for it and I’ll see you right back here next week for Episode 116, a real people story with a guest who shares her journey with us!
Naomi Nakamura is a Functional Nutrition Health Coach. She helps passionate, ambitious high-achievers who are being dragged down by fatigue, burnout, sugar cravings, poor sleep, unexplained weight issues, and hormonal challenges optimize health, find balance, and upgrade their energy so they can do big things in this world.
Through her weekly show, The Live FAB Live Podcast, programs, coaching, and services, she teaches women how to optimize their diet, support their gut health, reduce their toxic load, and improve their productivity, bringing work + wellness together.
Naomi resides in the San Francisco Bay Area and can often be found exploring the area with her puppy girl, Coco Pop!
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